Not a Girl's Girl: Why the Internet's New Favorite Insult Has Nothing to Do with Feminism
We live in. We eat Girl Dinner, calculate our expenses with Girl Math, celebrate and romanticize Girlhood, stimulate the economy, call ourselves “girls” when we’re over 30, want tobe. Girl's Girls are good friends, don't give a damn about outdated clichés like “bite-bite” (what an absurd word) or “cat fights”, begrudge each other their successes, and support each other unconditionally in everything they do. They are the opposite of Mean Girls and don't want to outdo each other. In the age of girls, being called a girl's girl has become the greatest honor - and the worst - not being considered one.
What used to be swear words like “bitch” is now expressed a little more harmlessly on social media: “She's not a girl's girl,” it says, for example, when talking aboutis blasphemed because she is said to have “stolen” Ethan Slater from his wife. Or if overdiscussed at all times. Or about a colleague who was rude at the office on a bad day. Or about private acquaintances with whom you had a disagreement. The question is omnipresent on social media and in pop culture: “Is she good or bad? A girl’s girls or none?” The theme even finds its way into Tate McRae's song “We're Not Alike” when she sings about a former friend who cheated on her boyfriend.
Said she was a girl’s girl, that’s a lie
Said she had my back, but she had the knife
I could never do it once and she did it twice
And you wonder why, and you wonder why
We’re not alike
If someone is labeled as a “not-girl's-girl”, there can be many reasons: from adultery to an everyday triviality, everything is allowed on this new spectrum of insult. Unfortunately. The proponents of this black and white logic usually use these things as proof that the anti-girls are definitely not only interpersonally impossible, but also “bad” must be – whatever that means.
Life is way too complicated for a simple “girl code”
Anti-Girls are framed as traitors to the all-encompassing female solidarity. It is assumed that, like the good old “Pick Me Girls,” they are ultimately just addicted to male validation and are therefore breaking the “Girl Code,” which says that you should never offend another girl. But there is no simple set of rules to follow. And it's not the case that women have to base all their decisions on this fictional code in order not to fall out of favor with all the self-proclaimed girl's girls.
All of this is based on a false understanding of feminism - and, as is often the case, a hint, which is currently particularly trendy again. And to make matters worse, it distracts us from the many issues that we as feminists should be addressing right now. Those who criticize the anti-girls online don't even realize that they are just falling for a repackaged version of a label with which they put other women down, label them and, above all, exclude them from a group in which they themselves belong want to profile. As if we didn't already have to contend with enough unattainable standards.
, who have to do everything right and please all other women in order to belong to the select club of girls. Women are also allowed to make mistakes, learn, and sometimesto swim. Rather, feminist discourse should not be about mutual liking and compliance, but rather about factual issues such as, sexualized violence, or. A feminism that only revolves around the supposed unifying factor that we are all girls and/or women can never be more than a viral TikTok trend with no content.
“Do you have to like every woman you meet? Of course not. That would be crazy.”
While it's easy to get off the tongue and get likes to describe another woman as "Not a Girl's Girl," it would only be fair to take a moment to consider what that label entails. It distances us even further from each other,and thereby reinforces the patriarchal stereotypes that we should defend ourselves against. And that has nothing to do with feminism, sisterhood and solidarity. Especially in times when...on social media and in real life is thriving andare on the rise who don't particularly think much of feminist causes, we can't stop at blaming each other and pseudo-feminist ego boosts.
None of this means that as women we shouldn't support each other. Also on an individual level. But if a stranger TikTok user doesn't support me unconditionally in my personal wishes and views, that doesn't directly make her an anti-feminist. Because not everything we do as women is automatically a feminist act or the opposite of that. Or whatit in oneInterviewput it: “Feminism means demanding equal rights for women. Does that mean you have to like every woman you meet? Of course not. That would be crazy.”
