How does online dating feel at 30?
I am currently sending the question to the Girls group chat in search of wisdom of. Opinions differ. “It is incredibly monotonous, exhausting and nerve -wracking. As if you were going through the same frustrating admin process again and again, ”explains a friend who is looking for love there.
We are all around 30, the majority single, without children. She will be bad if she just has to think of the first dates. For her it is like an interview in which she has to check whether the second person is a suitable candidate. Size, job, objectives fit? Attraction? Check. Does he kiss well? Only then does the process go seriously into the next round.
Like an application process
is one of the big topics of our time. And while almost every single (or non-more single) stories can tell how often the apps have already been deleted frustrated, many come back to it again and again. The well -known couple psychologist Esther Perel wasNew York TimesAsked which dating trends you expect in 2025.
She sees online dating on the descent: “Our requirements for one: n life partner: In were never so high: Best: R Freund: in, co-parents, sports partner: in, personal: r köch: in, life coach And of course passionate: r lover: in. And so we expect someone to get assigned by an algorithm. ” In the dating, she sees a frightening resemblance to the attitude process in a company today and is certain that singles want more playfulness - and connection in real life.
Dating for the plot
And yet the majority of the connections happen on the cell phone. How can you make the process more stress -free for yourself and even have fun? Another girlfriend in the group chat sees it more relaxed. “I get to know people at the online dating that I would never have met in real life because they don't move in my bubble. This is incredibly exciting to immerse yourself in the realities of life of other people. ”
Even if the date was bad, she met a new bar, a new oneDiscovered or learned something about a topic that she has never touched in her life before. She lived abroad for two years and just learned aboutknow many new people. Some were a connection with some. A friendship with others. She learned at least exciting event tips from others.
AI is looking for the specific spark
Dating platforms are like sand by the sea today and they are developing. “Bumble” relies on a female-first approach-only the woman can write the first message. And while a profile is set up in a few minutes, you have to take a little deeper into yourself at “Hegen”. “Designed to be deleted” aims to bring users: to bring long -term relationships inside, and therefore want to know a lot more precisely what people are fun and are looking for. The new “Hily” app also has a similar concept. There you give "and clicks ”and defines clear preferences and dislikes. Supports with AI and algorithm, it should be: the perfect: n partner: in find.
But not exactly what couple psychologist Esther Perel approached here? Can a dating app really replace the common humor, eye contact, the tension? It works for many couples. Other singles despair. Once women have met someone on a dating app, many rely on getting to know each other quickly in real life. Otherwise you have the voice of the other person in your head, laughing at the humor after weeks of writing. If the person is very different at the first meeting, it is often sobering.
Looking for relationships
And no longer just swipen on dating apps. On apps such as “Feeld” or “3fun” there are couples who are looking for non -monogamous fun. Also on “Tinder” more and more couples are applying in a profile to favor the favor for two and are often looking for a unicorn. This is how you call a single woman who is looking for sex with a couple. Unicorn because this constellation is incredibly rare. Especially in constellations with several people, it is all the more important to clarify what is being sought and who is open for what.
Selection and time management as the biggest problems
Shipping manWhat the big problems with online dating with 30+ are, you could almost think that it was programmed by women over 30. Point one is the small selection. Not only because there are fewer possible partners: inside, but also because the requirements are different than at the beginning of the 20th. A friend explains it as follows: “It is simply not efficient. The amount of men I have to meet until I find someone I want to sleep with. Absurd."
As a second big point, Chatgpt names that. Because while you climb the career cuffs up, with a friend: brunch brunch, Pilates makes and reads very, very good books, the time has to remain the time to get involved in the first dates. The girlfriend sees it pragmatic: “When I'm on vacation, I mate as many people as possible. Not because I want to meet her. But I ask in the news about local tips and experiences that make my vacation better. Why shouldn't I get some of the apps out. ”
Resümee: It’s a shit show?
Most people hope to find love and togetherness on the apps today. Partly very successful. In 2024, 21 percent of the couples surveyed met in Germany on dating apps. Ten years ago, most fell in love at work or through a common friend: inside - these two options are only second and third place. And yet many people feel an insane dating fatigue that cause dating apps. Reason are things like, the oversupply, self-doubt or the necessary time and energy expenditure and the repeated repeat patterns.
“It's a shit show”, a friend titled her master's thesis, in which she researched the challenges and frustrations, and the users: Experience the inside of online dating platforms. She concluded that most frustrations are due to interpersonal dynamics and personal emotions (80 percent), while technological problems (20 percent) play a lower role. Because especially if you are not enchanted by the movements, the smile or a deep look in the eyes, the conversation must be appealing. And that is a problem in some cases. Or to say it with final words from the group chat, in which everyone agreed: “You shouldn't generalize. But my conclusion is that men cannot communicate. If he doesn't ask me a single question, then he won't interest me. ”
3 tips for singles over 30:
Do it for the plot
In 2024, an Australian Tikoker did not think about finding love, but to be able to tell a good story at the next brunch with the ladies: about the restaurant, the kiss, the outfit or the conversation. If you have it in mind, every date becomes a little more relaxed. Because it's about nothing - except a good story. Incidentally, the year ended in a relationship for the influencer.
Stand for your no-gos
Do you data differently than at 20? Definitely. Because while it was still cute when the “Tinder” catch did not have a slatted frame, but only a mattress on the ground, the requirements for many women change over the next ten years. And that's okay. Unlike at Hornbach, women are looking for an equivalent partner and do not work according to the motto “Make it your project”. So stand to your requirements - and prefer to rethink whether it really has to be 1.83 m tall.
Your life, your rules
One part is married in my circle of friends, others already have two children, others are single and thrying. Each has a different timeline, different wishes, different priorities. So it would not make sense if we all use the same blueprint for our life. So ask yourself: So do you want something fixes? Do you want to live monogamous? Do you want to live with someone? Or do some of these points just not fit you? You should clarify this before you start data. And be honest with yourself. Because it is your life and you have to live it.
