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In the video: That's why kids get crazy at home
Our children behave very differently in their own four walls than in school or kindergarten. However, their domestic complaining and grumbling should not be viewed negatively at all.
Do you know the phenomenon that children, no matter what age, are always real angels to others? Suddenly the baby, just a few weeks old, sleeps through the night in the loudest café in town without complaining. The elementary school student walks carefully and thoughtfully through the exhibition in the museum. And the pubescent junior suddenly voluntarily does the dishes at friends' houses.
And then you come home and, like in a bad action movie, all hell breaks loose and chaos, noise and unbridled emotions take hold. There's complaining and screaming, siblings get into fights over trivial things and parents are probably the most annoying people on the planet. What happened?
Suddenly the children, who were just super relaxed, react much more emotionally. They slam doors when they're not allowed to do something, sulk at the dinner table because there's "only bread again," punish you with silence because they don't like what you want from them, or suddenly burst into tears.
In short, they let their feelings run wild at home. And as stressful as this can be for us as parents, this 'real' behavior from our children at home is actually a good sign of a strong and close bond.
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Why it's normal for children to be different at home
The way I experience my children at home is the same for many other parents around the world. The sweet little angels from kindergarten or school, who couldn't live without their mom for a while, suddenly become unpredictable rage bombs who explode over every little thing. But why actually?
The answer can be found quite brilliantly in a post by the blogger 'katesurfs'. She writes:“YOU, Mom, are the safe haven. YOU are the place they can go with all their problems. If YOU can't do something better...who can? YOU, Mom, are the junkyard for all unpleasant feelings and emotions.”
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Just imagine how stressful it must be for a child to “behave” all day. Even in kindergarten, children are required to follow certain rules and regulations and to somehow adapt to the group dynamics.
Even the littlest ones don't want to attract attention
Even the little ones don't want to attract negative attention. In school, these rules and regulations increase even further. Sitting still, not chatting and doing what you are told - all of this is constantly demanded of the child. And then it's finally home and all the baggage of the day falls away.
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And that is exactly the positive factor that we moms (and dads) should consider with all the drama that children sometimes cause. Home is the place where the child can simply be who they are. He knows that his parents are there to hold him when he is sad. It knows that mom isn't really mad when things get louder or wilder. And it knows that mommy will always protect it.
All the tense anger, grief, joy, positive and negative experiences of the day are released when the child feels safe. And mom and her own home are a safe place.
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Deep, intimate & real feelings
The child shares with us at home his deepest and most intimate feelings. And all in all, that is actually a gift to us. So when the children lie on the floor angry or slam the door or shout at mom, breathe away the anger that is rising within you and try to see the positive in it.
You have done a good job so far, your children feel safe at home. They love you at least as much as you love them. They just show it to us in a different way.
