Baby planning & desire to have children: These questions should ask couples beforehand

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At some point he is there, the point in the relationship where the baby question is in the room. Do we want one? Is it right for us? Are we ready for it?

You should clarify exactly these and other questions before you specifically go to the baby training camp. Because it is true: Sometimes you just have to act and not to disassemble everything. And there will probably never be the perfect time for a child. Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to worry beforehand. For the sake of your relationship, the child and his childhood.

Do we both want the child?

To ask yourself this question honestly, because after all you will be both parents of the child and should both take care of them. Does not blame the other if he or she expresses doubts. Do not put each other under pressure. Remains understanding and talk about it. Sometimes doubts dissolve in a conversation.

It is important that you both stand 100 percent behind the desire for a baby. If one of you somehow feels 'persuaded' to get a baby, it can backfire. Because it will change your life. And in addition to the great and beautiful moments, there will also be really strenuous. And you just take it better if you have deliberately decided on a life of three.

Do we really know what to expect?

If you are honest with yourself, you can only answer this question with a 'no'. Because the experiences and stories of friends and family members offer a first insight into life with baby, but it is not your experiences, but that of others.

So it is better if you ask yourself: Are we ready to take the 'risk' baby? Many will tell you how hard the first few weeks and months are. You will only know what exactly they mean and whether you feel the same way if you have a baby. So do not let yourself be scared of horror stories about insomnia, breastfeeding problems or anything else. If you want to dare, it dares. If you have doubts, then wait.

It is important that it remains realistic. There will be wonderful moments with baby and these will also predominate. But it will also be exhausting and difficult. Nobody tells you how difficult or easy. And you can't really know. But you can be ready to let it come to you.

Are we both ready to give up part of our individuality?

This question sounds more negative than it actually means. Because nobody has to give up their individuality because they have a child. You just have to be aware of a few things. Because even with baby you are still yourself and not just mom or dad. The attitude to life is crucial. You can also do your interests with baby, do sports, meet your friends and travel.

It is only associated with a different responsibility. But a responsibility that you share. So clarify what is important to you. Clarifies what could be more difficult with baby. Finds solutions and alternatives. If you as a couple are a well -rehearsed and considerate team, these are the best prerequisites for a baby together.

How do we feel about important questions of child rearing?

The easiest way to find out what is important to you in child rearing when you look at how you grew up and was brought up. In retrospect, what is good, what has remained negative in your head, what do you don't want to do yourself?

Couples often have a similar idea of ​​child rearing. But it doesn't hurt to address the most important points anyway.

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How solid is our relationship?

This question is certainly not the easiest, but maybe the most important when it comes to getting a baby. Because a child as a 'relationship rescuer' is not the best prerequisite for a harmonious family life. And it is not fair to the child.

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Do both want to continue working?

It may seem much too early before pregnancy, talking about who will stay at home with a child for how long or who will continue to work full -time and who may switch to part -time. But that's exactly the moment for it. Because a baby no longer means that mom changes to part -time and that dad just continues to work as before.

And yet these role distributions are still in many heads. Therefore, asks each other: Who stays at home after birth? Do both want to continue working full -time or does one of the two want to work part -time? Can both pursue their career plans or have to be made compromises? Who stays at home when the child is sick?

Reading tip:

Even if you cannot and do not have to clarify every question in detail, you should address the topic of child and career in any case. Otherwise there can be a bad awakening later.

Can we even afford a child?

And a very unsightly question at the end:Asking this question is somehow taboo - but money problems are among the most common relationship killers. So be honest with you and your partner.

Reading tip:

Very important:Getting a child is not a decision that should be made lightly. If only one in the partnership has doubts, you should postpone the plans again and talk about it at a later date. But you shouldn't rush the topic either. Anyone who stands in life with both legs, has a firm and harmonious relationship, has a stable environment and a partner who wants to experience this adventure with you can also implement the considerations.