A shocking book about trauma and pain: Caroline Darian, daughter of Gisèle Pelicot, with “And I will never call you daddy again”

In the new bookAnd I will never call you daddy againCaroline Darian takes readers on a deeply emotional journey through the dark shadows of a crime that shocked the entire world.As the daughter of Gisèle Pelicot and in the midst of a high-profile case that shocked the public consciousness, Darian offers an unflinching look at the disruption of her family and her father's unimaginable actions– while at the same time she wrestles with the tormenting question of the extent to which she herself was a victim of her father.

The bookAnd I will never call you daddy againby Caroline Darian tells the harrowing story of a crime that shocked the world. At the center of the story are Caroline Darian and her mother Gisèle Pelicot, the daughter and wife of Dominique Pelicot.

In her bookAnd I will never call you daddy againCaroline Darian reflects on the last four years of her life. It is written in diary form and offers a haunting picture of the disintegration of her family under the weight of an unfathomable crime. The story begins on November 2, 2020 - the day her world collapses. But not only her world is shaken, but also that of her entire family, from her mother Gisèle Pelicot to her two brothers and her husband, who also have to learn to deal with this new reality. That day, Caroline learns that her father has been arrested. The original accusation: He is said to have secretly filmed women up their skirts in the supermarket. But the police found something even more horrific on his cell phone: hundreds of videos documenting around 70 men raping his drugged wife. Caroline describes how she is overwhelmed by anger and despair, wants to tear the apartment apart and finally collapses crying. She describes how her husband has to leave the house to take a breath and how she faces her father in prison for the first time - separated by a pane of glass. Throughout the book, Caroline describes her desperate efforts to protect her mother from further suffering while battling her own fears. She also describes the difficult task of explaining to her son why his grandfather can no longer be part of her life. In doing so, she deals intensively with the painful reality. The book is not only a personal examination of her trauma, but also a homage to her mother Gisèle. Despite the horror she has suffered, she shows impressive strength. Together, mother and daughter fight for profound changes in legislation and against social shame. Their goal is to give other affected people a voice and to prevent future crimes of this kind.

At first glance, everything seems to have been said about the case. At the Avignon trial, which was held publicly at the request of Gisèle Pelicot, the horrific details were revealed. The obvious unity of the family was impressive. Mother and three children stood firmly together and supported each other. Despite the shame and shame brought upon them by their husband and father, their love for each other seemed unshakable. But that unity masks the challenges that plagued their relationships in the years leading up to the trial. Caroline Darian writes about these conflicts and internal struggles. “Being the child of a victim and a perpetrator at the same time is an immeasurable burden,” says Darian. Shortly after her father's arrest, Darian, then 42, began recording her thoughts and experiences. She describes the shock and anger she experienced and reports on her father's despicable actions. What is particularly moving, however, is her insight into the often strained relationship with her mother. Both women experience their own trauma in very different ways. For Gisèle Pelicot, this initially meant suppressing what had happened - a protective mechanism that often posed challenges for mother and daughter.

During the trial, the family was confronted not only with their father's crimes, but also with public insults and vilification. They were repeatedly accused of acting too late and were blamed for their father's actions. Despite this burden, Gisèle and her children found the strength to attend the trial. Day after day they sat in the courtroom and listened to the horrific details of their father's actions. Caroline Darian describes her feelings in these moments: “Every new day in court was like a new stab in my heart. But I knew it was important to listen so that the truth could finally come to light.” The burden was enormous. Caroline, who felt like a daughter and a witness to the crimes at the same time, had to balance between her pain and her need to fight for justice. “It was the worst experience of my life, listening to my own father's heinous acts. But I knew we couldn't let his actions destroy us. We had to face the truth.” The solidarity within the family was her greatest strength. Caroline describes how her mother Gisèle never gave up on her goal despite the trauma: “My mother never let herself be dissuaded from the fact that it was about justice for all victims, not just us.” This determination helped the family get through darkest time of her life. Caroline makes it clear that her struggle was never just her own: “It was never just my story. It was the story of the many who did not have the opportunity to speak out.” Despite the hostility and cruelty they faced, the Pelicot family showed incredible courage. Her determination to achieve justice was borne not only by her pain, but also by the will to fight for what is right.

Caroline Darian has faced criticism from the public. A central point of criticism is her belief that she herself was a victim of her father, even though there is no evidence of this in court. However, there are photos that show them sleeping. For them, this represents a personal drama: when facts are missing, the gaps are inevitably filled with assumptions. Some critics accused her of publicly sharing her suspicions without clear evidence, which could divert focus from the main proceedings or undermine the credibility of the entire case. In addition, her active role in public and her involvement in victim support were interpreted by some as self-dramatization. However, this criticism is unfair. Caroline Darian is experiencing profound personal trauma and is searching not only for answers and justice, but also for ways to support her mother. Her public statements and her commitment are an expression of her attempt to process what she has experienced and at the same time help other people affected. Their commitment does not arise from a desire for sensation, but from a deep need for processing and prevention. The criticism ignores the complexity of their situation and the enormous challenges that victims of sexual violence face - especially when there is a lack of evidence and personal relationships add additional strain to the situation. Caroline's actions deserve understanding and respect as they also help to spark a much-needed social debate.

And I will never call you daddy againis no ordinary book - it is a powerful reminder to all of us to look carefully, listen to the voices of the victims and actively stand up for their rights. Caroline Darian's work will be published on January 16, 2025.