Mental Health: How my mental state is sabotaging my beauty routine
Confession-Time: I haven't had one for a weekwashed. Those of you who are prone to oily scalps like me know what that can mean. But also other things that are important to meI've been neglecting things that are otherwise essential lately: I haven't applied fake tan in almost a month, which I've done since I bought my first bottle of Dove when I was 15.I bought it and used it almost religiously every ten days. I had forgotten how transparent skin can appear.
I haven't had mine for the last few weeks eitherremoved, which I'm reminded of every time I absentmindedly run my fingers over my now stubbly chin. My legs now look more like the inside of a pair of thermal fleece leggings - I haven't shaved them in so long. And I can't remember the last time I put on makeup properly.
It doesn't have to be anything special, after all, neither shaving nor wearing make-up is a must. But I usually really enjoy my beauty routine, and following it often gives me confidence and helps me feel good about myself. I say “usually” because lately I actually have to force myself to take a bath.
“It's normal to struggle with things like showering or washing your hair when you're depressed,” my therapist said to me as I apologized for my disheveled, unshowered self during our Zoom session. (By the way, I am extremely grateful that there is still no way to transmit smells via online meetings.)
“When you're struggling with your mental health, even the most mundane tasks can feel overwhelming,” he added.
When I told my best friend, herself an aspiring psychologist, about it via WhatsApp, she agreed: “When someone is overwhelmed and has the feeling that he or she cannot cope with challenges, the body and mind shut down,” she says. “They stop putting their energy into things that aren’tabsolutelyare necessary, and that’s why things like self-care and social contact are often the first things to go.”
On social media, our editor discovered that she is not alone with her feelings
Since I started paying attention, I keep coming across posts on social media that show that I'm apparently not alone in putting my life on energy-saving mode: “My beauty secret is that sometimes I skip my entire skin care routine because I'm too “I’m depressed,” one woman joked on Twitter. "My mental health is so bad I just can't bring myself to get up and wash my face so I need tips on the best makeup remover wipes," said another.
Actually trending upvarious search terms on the topic – like “skin care for depression” and “sad 60 second routine” with videos showing how difficult it is to maintain a beauty routine when you have poor mental health.
In one video, captioned "At least something...", a crying woman looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, splashes water on her face, pats it dry with a towel and leaves. In another post, which begins with the title "Realistic Morning Routine of a Depressed Lawyer," the creator washes her face but doesn't brush her teeth, pragmatically mixes foundation with moisturizer, and simply puts her hair up because she has "no can muster motivation for a hairstyle”.
Some users, like @skinfiltrator, give practical advice for skin care in times when the psyche is drained: “I suffer from chronic depression and wanted to show how I balance my skin care with my mental health,” says the creator in one of the videos. “I try to use what I have around me instead of going to the bathroom.” Afterwards she shows her reduced routine for bad ones: Apply cleanser, spray face with water, rub with a cotton pad dipped in micellar water and apply moisturizer. It is important for the creator to mention that this routine can be too much on some days: “And you know what? If you feel too depressed to do that yourself, that's okay too," she adds.
So the relationship between our mental health and our beauty and wellness routine can be a very complicated one, which can be linked to our self-esteem during depressive phases, explains clinical psychologist Dr. Linnie Telford: “When we have low moods and feel unable and unmotivated to complete basic routine tasks, this can be accompanied by a lack of self-esteem, but also hopelessness and helplessness or fatigue.” It is normal that we then have less energy to take care of our appearance. It is particularly important to label the lack of motivation for routines as laziness. Because it is and remains a symptom that should not be taken lightly, says Telford.
So what can we do when we find ourselves in such a mental health slump?
It may seem counterintuitive, but much of the advice given by the National Health Service, for example, is aimed at self-care to boost mood. But how are we supposed to practice more self-care when just brushing our teeth can feel like climbing Mount Everest? Not to mention following a nine-step wellness skincare routine à la.
You have to get rid of the idea that you have to do all these self-care exercises with motivation, says Telford. The important thing is not to go straight from depression to a walking self-love center, but rather to pick out small exercises that remind you that you are capable of taking action: “Try to break down the actions into individual steps; We are often overwhelmed by what we think we have to do and the need to do everything in its entirety. For example, wouldn't it be a good start to wash your face every morning for a week instead of doing a full beauty routine? Or resolve to brush your teeth before 2 p.m.?”
My therapist, my best friend and Dr. Telford agrees: When we feel bad, we too often think it has to be “all or nothing” - and it issomethingDoing something is much better than nothing, and even the smallest effort can make us feel better. So, on her advice (three doctors can't be wrong, right?), I drag myself out of my pit, where I'm lying in bed with the curtains drawn, watching serial killer documentaries, ignoring WhatsApp messages, and slowly get into the shower to wash my hair.
Baby steps – and lowering expectations
At first my legs feel like lead and my thoughts are kind of fuzzy - like white noise. This is a bad idea, it doesn't feel good I guess. But slowly, as I feel the warm water on my skin and breathe in the calming, vanilla scent of my shampoo, I feel less foggy. A little easier. Afterwards I'm a little happy about how clean my scalp feels. Who knows, maybe I'll even shave my legs tomorrow. But just maybe. Baby steps. And next time I come up with an episode like this, hopefully I won't be too hard on myself.
This article comes from our GLAMOR colleagues in the UK.
