The eternal argument with my parents: Why don't they understand my need for professional freedom?
There are certain topics that we have in ourParentswould prefer to avoid. Like landmines, we try to catch them very carefully, step by step, not casually, so that we can start a fight with them againto trigger. And then, in the middle of another topic of conversation, the bomb goes off: “What is your next one?Career move?”Before you know it, you find yourself under a barrage of questions and trying to defend your own life choices - often to the amusement of mom and dad.
For me it often goes like this: I explain that I want to let my future come to me, that I want to take with me as many experiences as possible and that I don't give up on itI'm looking for myself up to mineInterestwant to torture. Which, however, is not on minePlanfor the next ten, twenty or more years, it is to be at the top of the listto climb. I couldn't disagree more with my parents' mindset. And I'm tired of this discussion now.
If I talk about my professional ideas, an argument breaks out
I find myself in the same frustrating situation again and again and ask myself: Why did I think today would be different? Why did I think that my parents wouldn't object to my career mindset today? Yes, I know: Mom and Dad always only want the best for you and care. But at a certain point, the care needs to be scaled down and the child needs to be given a little more freedom and support in order to develop. I always have to ask myself questions like: “Don’t you want to earn more money someday?” or “Don’t you even want to be in thatbe and lead something?”. For them it is the ultimate: to be at the top of a company somewhere, earn a lot of money and make it to the top until you are at the top of some company. It's just a shame that these aren't my dreams.
So it's no wonder that there are always arguments between us on this point. While I try to explain that I have no desire to spend my life toiling until I reach my mental and physical limits just to have a full wallet, they think completely differently. Every time I come to the conclusion that I will not bring up this topic again on my own initiative. And yet I regularly fall for it and think that this timecould.
Arguments about choosing a job: Our career ideas differ so much from those of our parents
Of course, you have to say that my parents grew up in a different generation. They were also taught different values. Things like professional success,and high reputation in the job clearly took precedence over aspects such as, mental health and personal development. So it's really no wonder that they want to pass these values on to the next generation. After all, in their eyes, they define exactly what makes a successful life, and ultimately that's exactly what they want for their offspring.
But this is exactly where the conflict always arises: the younger generation has set its priorities completely differently. Theis (thank God) at the top, and everything else like jobs and co. comes just a few steps below. We draw clear boundaries between work and private life and do not sacrifice ourselves completely for our work. This development is good, important and goes in the right direction. Nevertheless, it's not always easy to discuss things with your parents when you have such different ideas about what an ideal career should look like.
I would like that in the future
Personally, I don't think we'll ever come to the same conclusion. But I also think that's okay. My parents and I grew up at different times and were given different values, which led to the way we think today. And if they had a completely different view, I probably wouldn't look at the topic of career the way I do today.
However, I wish we could find a healthier approach to this topic of conversation so that no one feels completely misunderstood or disrespected. I am an adult, have been in the professional world for a few years and have my own experiences. To do this, I need space and, ideally, the full support of my loved ones. I just have to accept that my parents won't jump for joy if I don't work towards the next promotion.
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