Why do women in particular feel the need to go into the anger room?
“I Win,” I write on a plate and hurl it against the wall. It shatters into a hundred pieces. Next to me, my good friend throws more plates like Frisbees against the same wall, they shatter, and we laugh. The walls are covered with farewell texts to men, jobs or superiors: a collection of the reasons.
The floor in front of us is overflowing with shards of porcelain figurines, plates, cups and glasses.cheers us on in the background, the lights are reminiscent of disco. For 45 minutes we smash plates like Frisbees, throw cups, and hit the shards with baseball bats and hammers. Again and again we hear screams of liberation. It feels surprisingly good to break something.
In the anger room you can destroy things regardless of the losses. But why are it women in particular who feel the need for this?
We are the target group in the rage room in Vienna. The employee explained this to us straight away when we started training and laughed. 80 percent of those angry are women. He asks about our profession and is amused again: “We have a lot of journalists and educators.” It makes sense to me in both professional groups. We are currently taking steps backwards in many areas – especially at the expense of women. The world wasn't there for a long timeas current, and no one can say exactly what our lives will be like in fifteen or twenty years. Especially for women. If you deal with these facts every day, it unsettles you on the one hand, but it also makes you angry.
But that's not the only reason why so many women are here. In his experience, women need a conscious outlet to allow their anger - more the everyday than the existential one. “Men just let their anger out in everyday life,” he says as he equips us with protective equipment and explains that the baseball bats are very popular with female customers. We each grab one.
Angry mothers and young women
But are women angrier today than they used to be? There has been a clear trend on TikTok and Instagram since the US election:cancel friendships and leave relationships because their partner cannot understand the anger and fear after the election. They share declarations of war, shave their heads, and call for people to strengthen each other. And according to the latest findings, mothers are also experiencing more and more anger. Experts warn about the psychological stress on mothers and explain that they have been feeling more and more anger since the pandemic. The pressure of juggling raising children, a career and meeting society's high expectations all at the same time has its consequences.
Author Mareike Fallwickl discusses this in her book“The anger that remains”Women's anger in the context of motherhood,and the expectations of society. She describes how women are often overwhelmed in their role as mothers and isolated by the burden of responsibility. She describes how the pressure to function perfectly affects the inner experience: “None of us are born with it, there is no secret knowledge that makes us mothers. But everyone expects us to never make a mistake from the second we are born.”
Women's anger is rising
But do these snapshots represent how women feel overall? The British oneBBCanalyzed data from an annual “Gallup” survey that surveyed a total of 12,000 people from 150 countries between 2012 and 2022. The result: women are experiencing anger more and more often. While in 2012 one in five women said they had been angry or upset the day before, in 2022 it was one in four. Men's anger remains stable over the years.
Learn to let go of anger
Back in the anger room, the employee explains that we shouldn't hold back. He doesn't judge what he hears and he has already experienced a lot. The room is often booked for breakup parties, or a whole group of friends arrives there. The notes on the walls also show this. He puts three boxes of porcelain in the room and wishes us a lot of fun. They are old pieces that end up as donations to Caritas and are then bought by the Wutraum.
