A home is much more than just four walls and a roof over your head. In the best case, it is a place where people feel safe, can develop and like to spend time together. But how do you recognize that a home is harmonious and its residents are happy and healthy?
Nobody surprises that there are no perfectly furnished rooms, flawless cleanliness or constant calm in the house. But what things show us that we have a loving and healthy home.
1. Serenity instead of perfectionism
A harmonious home usually does not look like a facility catalog. It is a place where everyone feels comfortable and that means that not everything has to be perfect. Yes, maybe there are shoes in the hallway, on which dining table occasionally collect papers, and there is temporarily (or more often) chaos in the children's room. But that is exactly what is fine.
Too much perfectionism just doesn't belong in the household, because that only means stress. So if you want to protect yourself from exhaustion and dissatisfaction, accept that something can be lying around in a household with several people. A harmonious home can therefore be recognized by the fact that there is no fear of disorder there.
What you can do if you belong to the type of perfectionist*in:
Allow yourself and your family not to have to be perfect. Place on routines that make order easier without increasing stress, for example a daily 10-minute clearance round for everyone. Set a timer, clear away and clean up what you can do in these 10 minutes, and then look forward to a little more order and a lot of time for each other.
2. Laughter belongs to everyday life
Real harmony is not in silence, but in joy. A loving home laughs, about small misfortunes, funny anecdotes or just like that. Family researchers have found that laughter reduces stress, the feeling of belonging strengthens and even improves communication.
Children in particular benefit from a humorous atmosphere. They grow up more emotionally and develop a higher social competence.
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What you can do if you are stressed too often:
Consciously create space for lightness: together games, funny rituals or just being silly, bring variety and relaxation into everyday life.
3. Everyone feels heardt
A home is harmonious when everyone feels as an important part of the community, whether adults or children. This means that needs are perceived and opinions are respected and that there is space for open discussions.
Families in which parents speak to their children at eye level can build a stronger relationship of trust in the long term. The same applies to couples: If everyone has the feeling that their opinion counts, fewer conflicts arise.
What you can do to improve your communication:
Make sure that everyone has their say and heard in your home. A simple trick is a kind of 'family conference'. You don't have to name it so officially, it is important that you sit down regularly and talk about things that deal with you, e.g. B. during the dinner together. It can be about things that stress you, cause problems or that you noticed uncomfortably. It is important that you explain this from a first-person perspective and thus attack no one.
4. Each he or she can be himself
There are places where you have to adapt, in the job, at school, in public. But that shouldn't be necessary at home. A harmonious home is a place where everyone can show how they are, with all their strengths, weaknesses and peculiarities. Most children can do this very well, as you can read in this article:
Psychologists speak of "psychological security" here: People feel really comfortable in an environment if they do not have to be afraid to be criticized or laughed at. This applies to adults as well as children.
What you can do To make your home the safest port:
Create an atmosphere in which everyone feels comfortable. This also means to formulate criticism benevolently and not judge anyone for small mistakes.
5. Conflicts are addressed and solved
Harmony does not mean that there is never a dispute. On the contrary. Conflicts are not displaced in a healthy home, but are solved constructively. If you manage to speak openly about problems as a family, you manage to have a stronger bond in the long term.
The secret to this lies in the way in which it is argued. If every disagreement escalates, often a bad feeling remains. However, if the discussion is being discussed objectively and looking for solutions, everyone involved feels taken seriously.
What you can do if you want to solve conflicts:
Pay attention to an appreciative culture of dispute. Speak from your perspective and use sentences like, "I feel ..." instead, "you always do ...". This helps to solve conflicts at eye level.
6. Guests are and feel welcome
A harmonious home is not only a place of wellbeing for your own family, but also for friends and the relationship. When guests feel welcome, this is a good sign of a warm and open atmosphere.
And let's be honest, we Germans don't enjoy a good reputation in terms of hospitality. Visitors are sent home because the food is ready or have to wait in the children's room for the family to eat. Not a particularly hospitable way and when visiting leaves the impression that he or she would disturb.
What you can do to improve your hospitality:
Be a relaxed host, whether for children's friends or adult visitors. Offer your guests something and invite them to eat together when that is just done. As a rule, we all cook too much than too little anyway.
7. You are happy to come home
Maybe the most important sign of a harmonious home: you like to come home. If you look forward to entering your own four walls again after work, school or an excursion, you have probably done a lot right.
This positive connection is created by all the factors mentioned: a relaxed atmosphere, a good cooperation, the feeling of being valued and loved. Because harmony, security, security and love are together.
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