Maybe we can't agree that parenting is more difficult today than it was 10 or 20 years ago. But the pressure on parents seems to be much greater today.
On the one hand, hardly anyone today has the so-called village that is needed to raise a child. Many parents struggle with balancing work and family on their own. Hinz and Kunz also feel encouraged to tell parents what they are doing wrong.
And all of those-.- orAnyway, they mean far too well with their overprotectiveness. The constant pressure that parents feel from all sides today is immense. Nobody really does anything anyway.
But what do parents have to, or rather should, give their children as they move into adulthood? Are there things, behaviors or rules that every child should know and be able to do?
We say yes. There are definitely things that our parents have taught us, that they have already learned from their parents and that we should teach our children today. Which ones are they?
#1 Politeness
Most children thank their parents for a reminder when they receive something as a gift. And the “magic word” please is often requested by parents when children want something. With small children, it is also completely okay to remind them of these polite forms.
In order for children to be able to act really politely later on, it is important that parents in particular show them in which situations one should say thank you or say please. So these two forms of politeness become second nature to them.
Another thing that children should definitely learn from us parents is that you say 'hello' and 'goodbye' when entering or leaving a room. When you get to know someone, it is also important to introduce yourself by name. And shaking hands is often still considered polite.
Limits of politeness
But politeness also has very clear limits that parents should not neglect to teach their children. What we are talking about here is the right to physical integrity. No child has to give a relative a kiss or a hug as a greeting if they don't want to. Children need to know, “My body belongs to me.” This cannot be taught early enough.
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#2 Consideration
We parents today are keen to see our children as individuals with their wants and needs, and rightly so. However, raising children should not result in self-sacrifice. What we mean is that children should be able to realize that mom and dad also have needs and desires and that sometimes you have to take yourself back so that they are happy.
The younger children are, the more help they need to recognize that consideration is required of them. For example, if you ask her to move a little on the sofa so that dad can sit there too. Or to play a little quieter because the sibling is sleeping.
The older children get and the more empathy they develop, the quicker they recognize when consideration is appropriate.
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#3 Reliability
Many people today have difficulty making a commitment. Both in interpersonal relationships and in many other areas of life. You are unable to make a binding decision. Or, if they have made this promise, to keep it. That's a shame, because reliability is an important quality. It shows the other person genuine interest and respect.
And how do children learn to become reliable? Sure, through us parents. Ideally, we demonstrate reliability to them every day. We show them that you have to get up earlier in the morning if you have an important appointment. That even if you don't feel like it, you still have to go to work. That you sit on something longer in the evening so that it is finished on time.
Reliability also creates trust. Giving someone your word and actually sticking to it is one of the most important things children should learn.
#4 Helpfulness
Children cannot learn early enough what it means to be helpful. And all it takes is people helping each other. This means that here too, parents are the best teachers. Children need to see how mom or dad sometimes asks for help and how this request is fulfilled.
And children can be involved early on to help – with setting the table, sorting laundry or shopping. It makes children grow to know that they are needed. It makes them proud to be able to do something themselves and help someone else.
The more children have the opportunity to get involved, the more natural it becomes for them to be able to recognize that someone needs help, but also to take the step of asking for help or offering to help.
#5 Responsibility
With helpfulness and reliability comes responsibility. Children who are entrusted to do tasks and things independently grow with these tasks and develop a lot of self-confidence. This gives them the confidence to take on new tasks.
But responsibility also means being able to admit mistakes and accept the consequences. Parents are also asked here. Especially in the reaction to mistakes that have happened to the child. So, for example, instead of complaining and complaining because something broke, you should look together with the child at why it happened and how you might be able to correct the mistake together.
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Important note at the end:Of course, there are many other important characteristics that we believe are essential in education. This also includes tolerance, honesty, curiosity and empathy. The same applies to these: that children learn most of it from their parents.
