Praise is an important part of parenting and can have positive effects, especially for teenagers. Effective praise can boost self-esteem, promote motivation and build a positive relationship between parents or teachers and young people.
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However, the way you praise teenagers is crucial to achieving the desired effects. If you are not careful, praise that is actually meant seriously can be devalued and lose meaning.
You can read here how exactly teenagers benefit from praise and recognition, what parents should pay attention to if they want to give their child positive feedback and what else you can do wrong when giving praise.
Positive effects of praise for teenagers
Self-esteem and self-confidence
Praise in the right place can greatly increase a teenager's self-esteem. Between the ages of 13 and 18, many teens are unsure about everything in their lives. They struggle with their changed appearance, with their sexuality, with friends and with school. They are looking for their place in life. If you experience recognition for your skills and efforts during this uncertain time, it can give you enormous inspiration. Through praise they learn what they can do and achieve. And that in turn leads to…
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Motivation and incentive
If an adolescent receives praise for a certain behavior or certain skills, this can increase motivation to continue working on themselves and take on new challenges.
Positive behavior
Teenagers actually know what is expected of them when living with other people. A sense of responsibility, team spirit, willingness to help, respect, all the things that make interpersonal relationships easier. But that's exactly what causes her to stumble sometimes. They quickly feel overwhelmed by the demands that the adult world places on them. Praise in one place or another can work wonders and act as a guide for you.
If a teenager took on special tasks, was particularly helpful or took responsibility in a situation without being asked, this should also be highlighted positively. In the best case, praise reinforces these desired behaviors.
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Strengthened relationship
When we receive recognition from people who are close to us, it often means more to us than praise from a stranger. That's why proper praise can also strengthen the relationship between teen and parent. With praise, parents show interest in what their child is doing and achieving. He feels seen, respected and (at least for the moment) understood by his parents.
How do you praise correctly?
Praising correctly isn't difficult at all if you pay attention to a few little things. So parents should always praise the work and effort a child has put in, even if the result may not be what they or the child expected. This helps your offspring realize that their efforts are valuable. An example: “You really invested a lot of time preparing for the project and that’s impressive!”
When praising, it is also important that parents praise as specifically as possible and not be too general. Instead of the commonly used “Well done”, you should be as specific as possible. An example: “I noticed how well you worked with your classmates, and that made the project much more successful.”
Mistakes shouldn't be praised, but the child's willingness to accept them should, for example. You can help your child with this too. So if a teen makes a mistake, they should be encouraged to learn from it and move on. Almost every mistake contains an opportunity to learn something. An example: “You haven't quite mastered this yet, but you've learned a lot from it. Next time it will be better!”
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How do you give false praise?
Too much praise, especially when it is undeserved or inappropriate, can confuse or misdirect the teen. Anyone who constantly receives recognition will eventually just strive for it and no longer act on their own initiative. In conclusion, this can mean that a lack of praise can cause a teenager to become discouraged. So that praise and recognition do not lose their meaning, they should be used in a targeted manner.
Praising a teenager for things that he or she had no real control over (due to external circumstances or luck) can lead to a false self-image. If a child receives praise for something that just fell into their lap, it can undermine the foundation of the praise. So if the praise is not authentic or deserved, it loses its value.
Praise is also false if it is based on a comparison with others. Praising a child in relation to other children, such as “You can do this much better than your classmates,” can encourage a child to be competitive and lead to insecurity. A child may get the impression that their achievements are only recognized in relation to others and this can have a negative impact on their self-confidence.
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