Parents sometimes make it difficult for themselves. We tell you to what educational traps (almost) all parents tap and how you can prevent them.
The greatest traps in child -rearing do not lurk as we parents want to persuade ourselves, in external circumstances, advice or well -intentioned advice. No, they are in our own ways of thinking and reactions.
We parents of today like to get tangled in a jungle of our own expectations, fears and requirements - to ourselves and our children. So we put the biggest educational traps ourselves. The following are definitely part of it:
Fall 1: Perfectionism
There is no perfect parents - we actually only know that too well. And yet it is difficult for us to accept this fact. We are constantly looking for the 'perfect style of education and do not even notice the enormous pressure we make. And not just us, but also our children.
Perfectionism is one of the greatest traps in child rearing. The attempt to always realize everything can lead to excessive demands and emotional exhaustion. Children feel this tension. In addition, you are also faced with the expectation of always working - which can lead to stress and possibly even to behavioral problems.
What helps?We parents should be aware that mistakes are always part of life. That it is much more important to be authentic and take the freedom to make unconventional decisions than being perfect. Dealing with mistakes - with parents as well as the children - can serve as a valuable learning option and lead to a stronger relationship.
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Fall 2: overproof
As parents, of course, we want to protect our children from all dangers and all evils of the world. In the worst case, however, this can lead to us.
Anyone who clears all the stones and obstacles from their child, whoever jumps to his side when problems arise, suffocates the development of independence and personal responsibility.
If we parents keep looking at our children and protect them from every risk, they cannot try them out themselves and find their own solutions. This reduces your trust in our own skills and rather promote a vicious circle out of fear (in child and parents) and over -care (by us parents).
What helps?Children need a healthy level of protection and trust. You have to learn to assess risks yourself and deal with failures. Of course there are situations in which the protection of the children is at the top, but a certain levelshould always be encouraged. It is important to trust the child, make mistakes and learn from it.
Fall 3: Compare
Sooner or later you get caught comparing your child with others. But the constant view of the supposedly perfect development of other children can lead to unnecessary stress.
Every child is unique and develops at its own pace. What is completely normal for a child at the age of two can be just as right with another child at the age of three.
If we dock parents regularly in comparison with other families, we run the risk of setting us and our children unrealistic standards. Instead of appreciating our own family and enjoying our children's individual advances, doubts quickly arise. This can not only burden the parent-child relationship, but also negatively influence the self-esteem of our children.
What helps?Education is not a competition. We parents should be aware that development courses are different and that there is no real or wrong pace. Trust in the child and patience are the key here.
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Fall 4: Too many advice
Advice books, online forums, Facebook groups, acquaintances and friends-the sources for educational tips are almost unlimited. For young parents in particular, this flood of information can quickly become a challenge. What one expert recommends contradicts the advice of another. What ultimately remains is confusion: what approach is the right one for my child?Or would you prefer to be a little looser? How much freedom can my child have? What is too much?
Too many opinions and advice can paralyze parents in their decision -making. Parents lose their orientation and feel torn between the different views.
What helps?It is important to be aware that not every advice fits every child. There is no universal solution for everyone. Therefore, we should primarily listen to our own gut feeling and the needs of our children. It can be helpful to look for a handful of trustworthy sources. You should make sure not to be influenced by every new recommendation and choose the way that works best for your own family.
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