The desire to always want to do everything right as parents is an ultimate burden. The expectations of us as mothers and fathers are high - excellent, ideally we should be perfect, in our role as a guide, protector, sponsor and of course also as loving caregivers. But what happens if we free ourselves from this load and say goodbye to the idea of being a "perfect" parents?
This is exactly where the concept of the "Second Best Parenting" comes in - an attitude that counteracts the pressure of having to be perfect in every respect, and instead focuses on the "good enough".
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Was ist Second Best Parenting?
Second Best Parenting (in German, for example: the second best education) is a concept that primarily from the psychologist and author Dr. Christina G. Hibbert was made popular. It is about freeing yourself from the pressure, being perfect, and accepting that parenting is not about always doing the best or perfect.
Rather, it is about having realistic expectations and forgiving yourself when you make mistakes. Parents should feel encouraged to deal with the challenges of education in an imperfect way without feeling guilty or comparing themselves to others.
Now you could say that "Second Best Parenting" is the scientific apology for careless upbringing. But that's not it. Rather, the term emphasizes that it is not always about achieving the highest level of perfection as parents. Instead, it is about taking the pressure out, having to do everything right.
In practice, this means specifically that parents consciously free themselves from the idea of finding the best solution constantly and in every situation. Who, if we are honest, don't exist anyway. Education is not always about absolute top performance, but also about the ability to make mistakes and to accept them as part of the learning process.
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Perfectionism and the burden of modern parents
Psychological research shows that the increasing pressure on parents to be perfect role modelsStrain of the whole familycan lead. And let's be honest, we, today's generation of parents, feel stronger than ever previously shaped by external expectations, keyword: social media.
We want to do everything right and also show that we can - be it in terms of nutrition, education or leisure activities of our children. However, this desire for perfection often leads to overwhelming, stress and, in the worst case, a feeling of inadequacy.
And this effect also affects our children: the relationship with our children suffers from the pressure of wanting to do "everything right". Children feel the stress and overwhelming of their parents and can therefore be unsettled themselves.
The healthy alternative
“Second Best Parenting” is therefore the counter -design to a supposed perfect education. It is a concept that is based on the idea that parents are a better role model for their children through authenticity, acceptance and allowing mistakes than through the constant hunt for the perfect parent model. This attitude relies on a healthy balance between effort and acceptance, and it has a positive impact on both the parents and the children.
Dealing with your own mistakes
An essential aspect in the "Second Best Parenting" is dealing with your own mistakes. There are no perfect parents - and that is a good thing. Children learn through our mistakes and by dealing with failures. When we admit mistakes as parents, we not only show our children that adults are not infallible, but we also give them a valuable lesson in dealing with errors and self -reflection.
When a child sees how we deal with a situation in which something goes wrong, they learn that it is not just about the result, but about the process. So they learn that mistakes are part of life and that they grown on them instead of being discouraged by them.
Further advantages for children
"Second Best Parenting" not only has a positive impact on the well -being of the parents, but also on the development of children. When parents let go of their perfectionism, they can build more sincere, more relaxed and, above all, more authentic relationships with their children. Children benefit from a less loaded, but attentive and supportive educational style.
By acting parents in an open and error -friendly environment, children develop moreand. You learn that it is not bad to make mistakes - and that there is always a way to improve. In such an environment, children can feel safe to make their own mistakes and learn from them without being afraid of rejection or an idealized picture of parents.
Is “Second Best Parenting” suitable for everyone?
"Second Best Parenting" requires a high degree of self -reflection and the willingness to let go of your own perfectionism. Especially for parents who have experienced a lot of structure and control in their childhood, the step in the direction of a more relaxed education can be a real challenge.
The step is worth it in any case. After all, one's own imperfection is not only an enrichment for our lives as parents, but also a valuable lesson for our children.
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