Sexuality without taboos: That's what lies behind promiscuity

Table of contents

• What does promiscuity mean?
• Promiscuity: How many are “many” sexual partners?
• Promiscuity from a purely biological perspective
• Sexual revolution and promiscuity
• Men and women and unequal moral standards?
• Promiscuity as a phase of growing up?
• This is what science says about the causes of promiscuity
• Important: These should be the rules

The only question is: where do you set the standard? When is a lot “a lot” and when is it average? Let's pull this one'ElitePartner' studyas a possible orientation. According to this, Germans have an average of 6.3 sexual partners over the course of their lives. Promiscuous women and men are significantly higher here.

But is more than 20 an indication of promiscuity or more than 40 or more? A question that can hardly be answered clearly. Because maybe the person with the 40 partners was looking for a permanent relationship and was just unlucky.

The fact is: those who live promiscuous lives are not looking for a real long-term relationship. Something more relaxed and non-binding. And this evidence may be more meaningful than mere numbers.

If you look at us humans from a purely biological perspective, promiscuity is absolutely understandable. After all, it's about producing offspring and passing on your genes. And the more sex partners I have, the more reproduction can be secured. In the animal kingdom, promiscuous behavior is therefore absolutely okay and even clever.

Of course, there are social norms and behavior in the human kingdom. Our society is shaped by the belief in monogamy and loyalty between two partners. And with these classic norms, promiscuity is logically at odds.

However, one should not judge this way of loving too quickly. And: After all, it is also a part of sexual self-determination, which, especially for us women, came with the invention of the pill.

True to the motto of the sexual revolution of the 1968s: “If you sleep with the same person twice, you already belong to the establishment.” Although back then, not everything was gold and equal, as the saying suggests, because it was called “THE LIKE” not “THE LIKE”. So it was primarily intended from a male perspective.

Fortunately, things are a little more differentiated today and men and women can freely decide what their sex life should and should not look like. And of course that's a good thing. However, equality is still not really achieved.

Society tends to lag behind with its morals and so even today, promiscuous women are quickly placed in the “easy to get” corner. Men unfairly, of course. They are then “the type of woman” or are considered “experienced” – such unequal standards are particularly annoying in this case. You can feel about promiscuity however you want, but if you do, please do it equally for all genders.

Anyone who longs for a permanent life partner and therefore an exclusive sex partner will still have little understanding for people who may have several changing sex partners every week. If you want to let off steam or enjoy your single life, you will be granted that, but then please limit it for a limited time, is the usual way of thinking.

At least scientists see promiscuity as normal, but also say that it is usually a phase. A phase of self-discovery and growing up. Most young people have changing relationships and also different sexual partners. This way you can find out who suits you and who doesn't.

However, if you remain promiscuous in your adult life, things are different. Then you are quickly described as incapable of relationships and unstable.

For an international study conducted by scientists from theBradley Universityin Peoria, Illinois, more than 16,000 people in 50 countries were surveyed about their sexual preferences. On the one hand, it was shown that men are more likely to want more sexual partners than women.

The scientists also found that there are a few factors that promote promiscuity. “The Big 5,” as they called them, are said to be typical characteristics of promiscuous people:Extroversion, openness, low sense of duty, willingness to conflict and neuroticism.

As I said, it is up to each person how they love. However, there are a few important rules that should be observed despite all freedom of movement and tolerance:

#1Protect yourself and your sex partners from sexually transmitted diseases. This is a question of decency and should apply to everyone.

#2Take care of your mental health. Maybe you're trying to use sex to compensate for something else that you're missing. In this case, the promiscuous behavior should be questioned and perhaps even changed. Because a lack of self-confidence or emptiness in life cannot be permanently compensated for even by numbing yourself with the concentrated load of sex.

#3And there's something else you should keep in mind: If thinking about sex dominates your entire life, there may also be a serious sex addiction behind it. Also worth considering. (Are you a sex addict?!)

#4If points 2 and 3 do not apply to you, then don't allow yourself to be dictated to and stand by your life. Secretiveness out of concern about what people say is understandable, but you can only change social norms by openly expressing new ways of being together.

#5Last rule: If you often have sex with strangers or with people you can't really assess, you should take care of yourself so that you don't end up with the wrong person at some point. Therefore, train your people skills and stay vigilant.