From Love Bombing to Friendship Bombing: Emotional Manipulation in Friendships

New friendships are often exciting and full of energy. You meet, laugh, share secrets and feel like you've found a soul mate. But what happens when this familiarity suddenly leads to unexpected overwhelming demands? This is where the phenomenon of friendship bombing comes into play.

Friendship bombing describes a behavior in friendships that is strongly...remembered. It involves showering a person with excessive affection, constant attention, and uninvited support. Sometimes it feels like you've found the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend - always there to make life better. This intense attention can be wonderful and even exhilarating at first because you feel loved and valued.

But beneath that shiny surface there may be another agenda: a “friendship bomber” is often intent on creating a close bond that results in other friendships being pushed into the background. The constant demand for contact and the desire to always spend time together can quickly seem overwhelming. Couples therapist Jamila Mewes explains: “Those affected feel loved and valued without realizing that they are getting into a manipulative relationship.”

The pitfalls of friendship bombing are often revealed in the dynamics of the. While the excessive affection and support may seem tempting at first, it can quickly turn into emotional dependence. Those affected often feel obliged to constantly please their boyfriend or girlfriend, which can lead to their own needs and boundaries being pushed into the background. This uneven balance can create a feeling of isolation as the “Friendship Bomber” not only gains control of the relationship, but also attempts to isolate the affected person from other social contacts. Jamila Mewes emphasizes: “Friendship bombers idealize their friendships and often have unrealistic expectations of the relationship.” When conflicts arise, initial affection can quickly turn into rejection, which is extremely confusing for the person concerned.

In order to deal with friendships in a healthy and sustainable way, it is crucial to develop a feeling for the dynamics. If you feel like a relationship is becoming too demanding or that the other person is trying to take control of your life, alarm bells should ring. Mewes explains: “It is important to develop a feel for the dynamics. If you notice that the relationship is becoming too demanding and the other person is trying to gain control over your life, you should be alarmed.” Healthy friendships are based on reciprocity, respect and space for individual development. It's important to set boundaries and put your own well-being first.

A conscious approach to closeness and affection can help avoid friendship bombing. Open communication about your own needs and wishes is essential. “It may be unpleasant, but it is the only way to protect yourself from possible negative consequences,” says Mewes. When a friendship feels stressful, it can be helpful to have a conversation and clarify what you need to feel comfortable. Support from trusted friends or a therapist can provide additional perspective and assistance.

Friendships should always be a safe place where you feel valued and supported without becoming emotionally dependent. An awareness of the dynamics of friendship bombing can help establish healthy boundaries and maintain relationships on equal terms. Because only friendships that are based on mutual respect and freedom contribute to a positive quality of life in the long term.