As the saying goes: actions speak louder than 1000 words. And while that's absolutely true, there are sometimes situations where words are key - at least that's what they sayDr. Jeffrey Bernstein. In his work, the couple therapist sees what problems arise every daydominate. His simple but effective tip that can resolve almost all conflicts is:four words, which you should definitely include in your relationship vocabulary!
Relationship psychology: 4 words that defuse any conflict
HowManeuvering through tough times together plays a key role in how satisfied you are in your relationship in the long term. Because the right solidarity in crises and difficult phases is an important building block for a strong relationship. But how can you maintain a loving connection when everyday life is tearing at love with its ever-increasing demands and problems?
The psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein in his practice every day. On the website"Psychology Today"He explains that just one sentence can help us communicate respectfully with one another in difficult phases. It reads:"How can I help?"
That's why, according to experts, this simple question helps with arguments
Dr. Bernstein reports on a couple in which the woman takes on most of the household and child care while the man works a lot as a lawyer. In one session, she expresses her exhaustion and complains that he never offers help. The therapist suggests that the man asks her: "How can I help?" The woman then asks for a weekend off to relax. Although this does not solve the unequal distribution of tasks,it immediately improves communication and appreciationbetween the two.
In another case, the same sentence helps a couple who are growing further apart in conflict. The man is unsure how to react while the woman feels ignored. After he asks, "How can I help you?" she asks him to just listen. This enables them toto approach each other again.
Dr. Bernstein emphasizes that when asked "How can I help?" It's not about great deeds or the perfect solution. The words create empathy and connection by doing thatAcknowledge the problem without judging it. To use the phrase effectively, he recommends not just assuming what your partner needs, but asking and acting on the answer.
