It is often much easier to criticize and complain rather than offer constructive solutions. Just ask the millions ofat every international match. This also applies to getting to know each other, dating and relationships. It almost seems as if we automatically look for signs of problems among our friends when someone tells us about a new acquaintance. The eyes are bright, the smile is wide, but there is always someone who says, "Just be careful in case..." No one should run blindly into misfortune, and it is not at all wise to overlook red flags. But it is even wiserto focus on positive signs - the gestures, characteristics, actions and expressions that tell us that the person we are falling in love with is truly worthy of our time, attention and feelings. Keep your eyes open for green flags.
Bye, toxic relationship: These are green flags we want to see
Green flags are in contrast to red flags. Red flags usually lead directly to a toxic relationship. Green flags, on the other hand, are signs that indicate that getting to know someone or even a possible relationship with someone is going well and could be promising. Everyone has their own list of green and red flags that should be seriously considered. What are absolute exclusion criteria? What can't you live without in a relationship? Not liking flip-flops isn't a red flag, but banning someone from wearing a certain outfit is a clear red flag that needs to be talked about.
Green flags when flirting and on the first date
Green flags can already appear during flirting and online dating. They are the deciding factor in whether you really feel the need to meet the person. What do you expect when flirting and on a first date? What is important to you? Green flags in the initial phase can be, for example, the following:
1. Dating profile
The most powerful positive signal on a person's dating profile is diversity. Lots of pictures with friends,Family – perhaps even pets – provide a sense of who the person is and how you might fit into their life. The pictures should be current, no outdated selfies in front of smudged bathroom mirrors and no photos with ex-partners. An open-minded attitude is also positive. According to the dating appA third of users are more open to traveling and starting a relationship with people who live in another place.can be wonderful or doomed to failure.
2. Respect boundaries
Especially with online dating, everything often happens very quickly, and after just a few messages you ask things that you would hardly say in a bar after the fourth drink. Talk about sex when you want it and respect it when it's not wanted. UnaskedBy the way, sending photos of breasts is a clear red flag that can quickly disqualify a person.
3. Enjoy getting to know each other and seeing each other again
That should actually always be true. Regardless of whether you are seeing each other for the first time or meeting in front of the supermarket after ten years of dating, the anticipation of seeing each other again should be palpable.
4. Genuine compliments
And we don't mean "nice butt."
5. First impressions count
Acting cool is boring, outdated and cliche. After all, we are no longer teenagers. Anyone who is interested shows it. This starts with what you wear for a date. Slip out of theand in fresh clothes. Of course you should also be able to be loved in sweatpants, but they can be worn later. Dress appropriately to show appreciation for the meeting. After all, you wouldn't go to contract negotiations in swimming shorts just because your work should speak for itself.
6. Fresh breath
Pleasant and non-smelling breath shows that you have oneare familiar. This is the minimum level of hygiene that your counterpart can expect. Fresh breath is important, and that doesn't include a lollipop that you popped into your mouth a few seconds before you got to the door. After all, you never know what the evening has in store.
Under “Providers”InstagramActivate to see content
7. Share
Jokes, traumas, saliva shared together - sharing is caring. Unless it is. You can be selfish.
8. There is something to talk about
But you shouldn't be afraid of pleasant silence either. If silence makes you uncomfortable, feel free to speak up. The best way to get out of a wordless situation is... to talk about the topic of communication. Showing insecurity will not be interpreted as weakness.
9. Don't be afraid of silliness
A first date revolves around embarrassing childhood memories and mistakes at work. Yes, we want to hear about how you drunkenly tried to open the apartment below yours or accidentally sent suggestive messages in the family chat. The self-deprecating little missteps we reveal reveal a lot about how we handle difficult situations in everyday life.
10. Don't be afraid of future issues
Yes, even on the first date. Get rid of the idea that talking about long-term hopes seems exaggerated or intrusive. Sharing how you envision your life doesn't necessarily apply to the person in front of you. Would you like to get married one day? Say it! Are you looking forward to changing your child's diaper while stuck in traffic? Be open. You don't ask your date to sign a contract. It's a conversation, and the other person can do with the information as they see fit. And if the goals don't align, it's okay not to pursue a second date. Consider the alternative: getting into an argument because you never really have onewanted is not a pleasant idea. On the other hand, it's nice to meet someone who opens up.
11. Show interest
Anyone who is interested asks questions. However, anyone who is not interested also shows this.
12. Be able to listen
Not just being a good listener, but actively listening is great. Everyone can sit there, nod and be silent for ten minutes during the last date-Travel enthuses. But are you really listening? Do you remember names and places? Can you follow stories that get an update after three weeks without having to retell it all over again? If yes, then you have found someone special.
13. There is a lot of laughter
is probably at the top of a dream partner's wish list. But it takes more than a few jokes. It often happens that one of the two acts as if he is a stand-up comedian and the other is the receptive audience. But laughter should be an exchange, not a one-way street.
14. The cell phone stays in your pocket
Unless it's an emergency. Otherwise, the cell phone should not be on the table or hidden under the table. Your full attention is due to the person.
15. Time flies
We've all had that one date that drags like bubble gum. But if you're still sitting at the table while the staff is putting up the other chairs and you haven't noticed how quickly the time has flown by, then that's definitely a good sign.
16. Real feeling
If the date was great, if the person is great, and if you enjoyed the time spent together, feel free to say so.
Under “Providers”InstagramActivate to see content
Green flags in personality
The relationship slowly develops and you really get to know the person. Red flags can hardly be hidden anymore. And Green Flags are now really fun.
17. Openness and honesty
Many of us hesitate to express our feelings. Nobody wants to get hurt, but it's time to break those habits. Paying attention and expressing how you feel contributes to connection - provided it is done constructively. You can avoid whining or complaining about little things like an ingrown toenail.
18. Don't be afraid of disagreements
Surrounding yourself only with approval-seeking people is an extremely problematic habit and can quickly become boring. Different opinions are possible without it necessarily leading to a dispute. Isn't it the spice of life to be challenged every now and then? Hearing new arguments and possibly even changing minds can be very rewarding. Of course, there are certain things that are non-negotiable, like basic human rights and the question of whichwas the best.
19. A sensible relationship with your ex
... or at least manages to mention the ex-relationship without spewing venom and bile. Even if a relationship didn't end well, you can still talk about your ex respectfully. The more mature you deal with it, the more positive the sign.
20. Friends and family
How does your date talk about friends and family? Even if you are not in close contact with the family, you should be able to talk about it or mention that it is not a favorite topic.
21. Courtesy towards service personnel
The biggest clue to how someone will behave in a relationship comes from how they interact with other people. Small interactions with baristas, salespeople or strangers give you a lot of insight into their personality.
22. Strong moral values
The fact that he or she has noshould not be the only benchmark.
23. Good culture of debate
During oneyou are upset, angry and sometimes hurt - in these moments the mask often comes off and you get to know the person in a new way. How is the argument going? Which words are chosen? Are you threatened or insulted? Will the door be slammed and will they disappear for five days or will they not speak for a week? Of course nobody is perfect. However, there are standards that are unacceptable. Taking a break and then having a conversation is a mature way to deal with conflict. In oneIt's about being understood, not about the other person having the same opinion. Pro tip: Telling someone to calm down during an argument is like pouring gasoline on a fire and expecting your eyebrows to stay intact.
Under “Providers”InstagramActivate to see content
Green flags at the beginning of a relationship
The rose-colored glasses are slowly being taken off. The first infatuation fades and it is not uncommon for one to face the first relationship hurdles. In this case there are also enough green flags.
24. Reliability
creates reliabilityYou are in the place where you promised to be. You keep your promises and don't play games. You don't suddenly disappear or try to do so on purposeto generate. Now is the time to really fully open up. A partner who is consistent, reliable and honest gives a greater boost to mental health and personal energy than any wheatgrass smoothie.
25. It's the little things
It's not about showing off, it's about showing that you're thinking about someone. A message wishing you good luck before a presentation, a voicemail saying you had a great time last night, or taking over a tedious task from the. Small gestures leave a big impression.
26. Give space
Especially in the early stages, you want to spend every minute with your new favorite person. But it's good for every relationship to have space. Do your own activities or spend time with friends. As tempting as it may be to receive constant attention, we are not Agnetha and Frida of Abba. Having someone have a diverse social life, or at least responsibilities that they keep up with, is much healthier than making one person your sole fixation.
27. You feel good
If you're already spending a lot of time with someone new, you should feel comfortable doing so. The time together should not be limitedor arguments, but rather by fun. Even less exciting things like shopping together at the supermarket become nice when he/she is there. If the feeling of emotional exhaustion remains after each meeting or it feels like after three rounds, you should consider looking elsewhere.
28. Does the chemistry in bed work?
Chemistry is important, and understanding each other in bed is a big plus. Not every couple is immediately on the same wavelength. Talking about it openly, asking what the other person likes in bed, accepting boundaries or not just thinking about yourself allows a relationship to grow and trust to deepen.
29. Integrate into life
Two slowly become one, and you want to include people in your life. You get to know friends and meet family. You open your own life and should also be ready to take a place in other people's lives. This means enduring her best friend's annoying laughter or standing on the side of the road to watch himto cheer on.
30. It evolves
We are made of flesh and bone, not marble and stone. We are often obsessed with the idea that sparks should fly immediately and there should be fireworks. But a positive trait is acknowledging that we can't get everything right right away and that listening and patience are important to moving the relationship forward.
Under “Providers”InstagramActivate to see content
Green Flags for a Long-Term Relationship
A flirt turns into a relationship that is aimed at a shared future. Now it's time to set the course and Green Flags can help.
31. Division of responsibility
Paying bills, cleaning and going shopping because you forgot to buy toilet paper - these are often controversial topics. When one person does more, pays more, or gives more than the other, anger and tensions often arise that often simmer for a long time and then explode. A fair and equal approach to everyday tasks should be a given. If this approach doesn't already exist, it's important to learn it quickly.
32. Ability to apologize
The sexiest thing someone can do is say, "I was wrong." We are human and we make mistakes. Nobody wins a prize for always being right. Admitting you did something wrong or changing your mind is not a weakness, but a strength. Learning from mistakes shows a willingness to work on problems.
33. No drama, please!
There are couples whose relationships thrive on drama. Constant arguments and reconciliations are part of it.may be exciting, but it is also extremely tiring. Life should be mostly drama-free, with occasional ups and downs, rather than constantly fluctuating between extreme poles. There is a saying that you should work hard at a relationship. But let's be honest, who wants to wake up every day feeling like they're toiling in the salt mines? There will be moments when conflict and drama seem overwhelming, but the end should be in sight.
34. Speak positively
When great things happen to your partner, it should feel like they happened to you too. They are proud of each other and encourage each other. Your partner is your biggest supporter and will proudly announce positive things about you to their friends when you are too shy. Simply because he or she is proud of you.
35. Speak positively about your partner - when he or she doesn't listen
Organize a quick evening with friends and listen carefully to how your partner talks about you. Even if you misfueled the car or left the key in the door. The tone of the conversation often reveals how your partner thinks of you. Sure, there may be occasional jokes, but someone who loves you won't talk down to you, make you look stupid, or insult you.