In the cuffing season you get a winter relationship? Is that still contemporary?
It's getting colder outside, but even cozier inside. OneGrandma's knitted stockings and off to the couch. What is missing? Right the partner to cuddle with. Then it's officialCuffing Season. Why we in theWinter timeare even more in need of love and what dangers that posesSinglesyou can find out here.
What is Cuffing Season?
If you use the English term ?Cuffing Season? If it were bluntly translated into German, people who fear commitment would most likely already have a heart rate over 80. Why? ?To cuff somebody? means handcuffing someone. But don't worry. The meaning behind it is far less dramatic.
Cuffing Seasonfirst describes the phenomenon of quickly organizing a permanent partner towards the end of the year. After all, who likes to spend the winter alone? Just the thought of what lies aheadand the annoying questions from the annoying aunt about where the partner is, or the disappointed looks from the grandparents when they find out that they will have to wait a little longer for the desired offspring, drive many singles to the last minute Finding a partner. From October at the latest, it's time to keep an eye out! It's cuffing season!
Where did the term “cuffing season” come from? actually comes is highly controversial. It can be assumed that ?cuff? from African-American slang for ?hook up? (i.e. ?pick up?, ?have a one-night stand?) came about? At least that's what it saysMerriam-Webster Dictionary. The “Cuffing Season” became popular. then especially through the rapper Fabolous, who appeared in his song “Cuffin Season” in 2013. the following tried to rhyme: ?Been naughty all year trying to end it nicely. Summer hoes turning into winter wifeys.?
Why do we suddenly want to commit to each other?
Whether the ?cuffing season? can be scientifically confirmed is controversial. Various phenomena have been observed that may provide clues to an explanation. OneStudy, which is often quoted, comes from 2008 from the Polish University in Wroclaw. A pattern emerged here that heterosexual men found female bodies more attractive during the winter months than during the summer. One possible explanation given by the study is that men see women scantily clad more often during the summer months and compare and weigh things up more. Furthermore, according to a 2003 study, theTestosterone levelsof men at low temperatures and less sunlight higher? which can lead to increased sex drive.
Another explanation could be hidden behind winter depression or seasonal affective disorder. During the dark season we are deficient in vitamin D and it is thought that the brain undergoes a chemical change that can bring on symptoms of depression. Closeness, affection and love from another person can sometimes be quite beneficial when you are emotionally upset. Here you get a lot of happiness hormones, such as serotonin and dopamine, and suddenly feel better? without perhaps knowing exactly why.
Attention: Why cuffing season is problematic
As tempting as all of this may sound, cuffing season should be approached with caution. Especially for those who are seriously looking for a long-term relationship. Some singles actually only feel the desire for togetherness in winter, which is why they strive for a committed relationship solely for selfish reasons. As soon as the days get longer again and spring approaches, it's relatively quick to say: Bye, Bye Baby. And instead of the spring fever there is only oneback. Not so nice! That's why it should always be clear what you're getting into. We have picked out four reasons for you why cuffing season is problematic as a dating trend.
1. Cuffing Season embraces backwards heteronormativity
On the Internet, the ideal process is the ?cuffing season? still very backward and: The man needs a relationship for the winter and chooses a real woman. As the end of winter approaches, the woman probably wants to stay in a relationship, but the man wants to be single again for the summer. Sometimes entire calendars are even set up (mostly by men to find women) that reveal when, for example, you have to start looking for someone and when the "interviews" take place. take place.
2. Cuffing season avoids difficult conversations
The ?Cuffing Season? can be used to simply avoid a difficult conversation when things get serious in the summer. Of course, the question you have to ask yourself before any relationship is: What am I really looking for? Is it love or is it simply a body that keeps me going when the temperature drops andcan keep warm? If it's the latter, isn't that wrong? As long as you have communicated this with your temporary partner and they also agree to it! The problem only comes when you don't communicate properly and have the wrong expectations of the relationship and yourself.
3. The dating scene has already moved past cuffing season
In recent years the...has developed into a more free spirit that rejects long-term relationships and supports casual dating. But Gen Z (on TikTok) in particular does not feel that their needs are being met and are longing for solid relationships again or none at all. Entering into a bond does not automatically mean a permanent oneTo lead, it simply means that you are honest with yourself and your partners? and sticks to what was discussed in advance.
4. In cuffing season you just give in to social pressure
Because what do you want?really? Another problem of the ?cuffing season? is the expectation from outside that you should enter into a relationshipmust. It's "sad" when you sit alone on the couch on a snowy Sunday afternoon. But it doesn't have to be that way! It can also absolutelybe when you have complete control over the remote control. Or call your best friends and arrange a chilled evening with wine and speculoos.
Attention: ex-boyfriend
Another prime example of the cuffing season is the missing ex-boyfriend who suddenly appears on the screen again and wants to tell you about his insurmountable feelings. All warning signals should now turn red. At least you should check very carefully whether the feelings are real or just due to loneliness.
Ist die ?Cuffing Season? cancelled?
The cuffing season seems to have already been canceled on TikTok. The discourse surrounding the new anti-attitude towards cuffing season emerged on TikTok primarily through rapper Moriah Mills. In a TikTok video, she explains that she doesn't want to force a relationship now, but would rather focus her energy on herself, her family and long-termstuck.
But this change does not come out of nowhere. Since the Corona pandemic, we have seen a cultural shift among Gen Z: away from the fast-paced hook-up culture and towards long-term relationships and self-care. While in previous years the Internet was flooded with singles expressing their wishes for the cuffing season as early as October, especially now, in November 2022, we are seeing a general shift towards TikTok videos, women who stand up for other women and accounts that show how to practice self-love. From large organizations likeThe Boss Wives, who share inspiring videos from strong women, to influencers likeMadison Taylor, which shares tips for a self-care break, is all about self-care.
It seems that Gen Z has already made up its mind and thinks that cuffing season is no longer relevant for them. Young people on TikTok are starting to see behind the scenes of our consumerist society that treats people like a product (even though it's clear to everyone that the appironically also sees people as a product). If you scroll through Gen Z's TikToks, you'll see how this insight is gaining traction. The main reason for this is the severe impact on the social life of young people at school and/or university caused by the corona pandemic. Deep emotional connections with people seem to be replacing the quick hook up culture.
5 tips for cuffing season:
Are you still in the mood to cuddle and want to commit to someone? be it long-term or just for one night? Then it’s time to question your motivation. Where do you see yourself? What do you wantreally?And who would you like to share this with? Finally, do we have five tips for you that will prepare you well for the cuffing season? no matter where you are in life.
Tip 1: The urge to cuddle or a true need for love?
That's exactly what needs to be found out. Because it's not always just the others. So first ask yourself what motivates you to go on the flirting offensive. Are you really looking for a new relationship or are you just afraid of being alone?
Tip 2: Find alternatives
If you realize that it's actually loneliness that's motivating you to find a partner, try shifting your focus to other things that can make you happy over the winter. A new hobby, a big, soft teddy bear (he doesn't say anything back) or how about a little sport again? This is not only good for the body, but also for the soul and also increases your self-confidence. Then you will soon realize that being alone is not inevitablemust mean.
Tip 3: Remember your values
But do you long for one?With a deep connection, you should not only be aware of your own worth, but above all hold on to the values that you hope for from your partner. The need for closeness and affection is particularly great during cuddle time, which is why some people may be more inclined to ignore certain demands. Just because the sex is fantastic and he:she plays your dinner date two to three times a week doesn't mean any disagreements should be ignored. Stay honest with yourself because this is the only way your new relationship can last.
Tip 4: Don't be blinded
Because in contrast to you, the cuffing people are also out and about in winter and unfortunately they only want to be available to a limited extent. So even if it initially seems as if your partner is fully committed, you shouldn't rely too much on the usual signs. Because unlike the classic summer flirt, the winter flirt is also looking for intense closeness and togetherness, which is why it is difficult to distinguish him from those who have really serious intentions. Therefore: keep your eyes open when choosing a partner!
Tip 5: Communication is key
Talk openly with your partner about what your intentions are with each otherpursued. Can you imagine a future together? Or does this thought scare you? Maybe you both realize that you are actually just lonely and looking for someone to cuddle with. In this case you could relax on oneA winter edition that can be finished as soon as spring arrives without stress or a guilty conscience. If you have different views, there will be no happy ending, but there will be no heartbreak in the new year.
Finally, the golden rule of cuffing season: just be honest with each other!
