Criticism of Millennials: Why Baby Boomers and Gen X Don't Understand Our Parenting

I'm over one recentlyTikTokstumbled upon, in which a mother and grandma (baby boomer generation) make fun of how their daughter (millennial) is raising her children today. Above all, the daughter's written instructions to her for the care of theare a thorn in her side and what follows is the sentence that everyone has heard from their own parents or in-laws: “I wonder how I was able to raise my children back then?”

The answer to this question could actually be quite simple: “Different.” But it doesn’t get to the heart of the rhetorical question. What the grandma from TikTok and other critics actually want to say to millennial parents when they ask this question is: “You overprotect and coddle your children.”

So what's the point ifdenounce (our parents) for 'spoiling' their children into effeminate and dependent people? What do we do so differently that it inflames their minds so much that they feel compelled to post their opinions on TikTok, Insta or in their WhatsApp status?

1. Don't be afraid of emotions

When I was growing up, it was normal to have emotions under control. Sayings like “Don’t act like that!” or “Pull yourself together!” were commonplace, at home, at school or in any other place where children and adults came together. You had to control yourself, otherwise what would others think. Ideally, feelings were simply suppressed.

Today my generation, the Millennial generation, does it differently: We make sure that our children are allowed to express their emotions. Yes, they can cry, they canand they can just be sad sometimes without immediately needing a “Plan B” to calm themselves down again.

Being aware of and accepting your feelings is one of the pillars of Millennial parenting. Because we know: When children know that they can open up to us at any time, it strengthens themand their self-esteem. They learn that their feelings are not only legitimate, but also important.

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2. (Over)protection

We, the Millennial parents, are the ones who would like to make the world a little softer for our children than we experienced back then. But I don't think overprotection is the right term. Rather, we are concerned with protection through care and a strong bond. As parents today, in a world that is moving faster and faster, in which information is available anywhere and at any time, we try to offer children a safe space, a place where they know that they will be taken care of.

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This type of care, if overdone, can inhibit children's independence. But I also see it as a balancing act: when I notice that my children are moredevelop, I let go. And I let them make mistakes, even if it hurts sometimes. But you never have to be afraid of the consequences.

3. Praise Pioneers

We are often accused of being a generation that praises our children too much. And maybe you can really call us the “praise pioneers,” but that doesn’t mean that our children should have unrealistically high expectations of themselves.

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The opposite is the case: Our constant reinforcement should not only strengthen our children's self-perception, but also give them the tools to deal constructively with life's challenges.

In today's performance society, it is important that children learn to believe in themselves from an early age. My generation doesn't want their children to feel like they've failed every time they fail. Instead, we say, “You haven’t made it yet, but you will get there with practice and patience.”

4. Digital Natives

We, the Millennials, are among the first who can be described as digital natives, i.e. those generations who grew up in the digital and networked world. A world our parents could only dream of. In fact, this is precisely why we are aware that the digital world is a double-edged sword, in which, in addition to education and endless information, there are many dangers.

But keeping children away from technology such as cell phones and computers today is utopian. All of our lives are influenced by technology every day. We Millennials are therefore trying to create a framework for usage, with alternative offers, but also screen times and regulation apps.

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And we millennials believe that the framework that our children need in this digital age is something that our parents also need from time to time. Because even if, as they always emphasize, they raised us “without any major problems,” they did so at a completely different time.

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