From today's perspective, it almost seems that our parents were less worried about us than we are about our children today. Maybe because they were much more concerned with themselves. Maybe because they didn't really care about some things. Or maybe because they didn't constantly compare themselves with others?
In any case, our childhood often looked very different to that of our children today: the front doors still had a door handle on the outside and were only locked when we went on vacation. On rainy days, people spent the whole day watching TV in their pajamas and no one thought about the children being dumbed down. And boredom belongs in every child's room just like lactose does in milk.
Despite all of this, we have become decent, responsible and healthy adults (I would say). So maybe it's worth taking a little look at the upbringing and attitudes of our parents?
That's why here are six things that didn't really worry our parents and that we should perhaps eliminate from our parenting worries!
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1. Lactose, Gluten & Sugar
A healthy and balanced diet is of course important for children and adults. But today's trend of having to eat healthier and even healthier is literally overwhelming parents.
Parents are advised not to give their children toast to school for the breakfast break, sweets or even a cake for their birthday at school are undesirable and sugary drinks are a mortal sin anyway.
Sometimes as a mother you just want to shout: Guys, relax! A piece of cake, a piece of chocolate or a lollipop may contain sugar, yes, but that won't hurt anyone. Gluten is also digested normally by healthy people and if someone is not lactose intolerant, then it won't do any harm to drink a glass of milk.
As with everything in life, when it comes to foods containing gluten, sugar and lactose, the amount and frequency matters.
2. Play outside and freedom
On weekends, the doorbell rang right after breakfast, you were picked up to play, came home for lunch, only to run around again and be home for dinner. The parents knew roughly where everyone was hanging around and that was enough. Very few parents probably knew what they did during this time.
Today every child has a cell phone. Even if parents like to tell themselves that the cell phone is only for emergencies, it still gives them the opportunity to monitor their child anytime, anywhere. And that's actually a bit of a shame. Because children have to have their own experiences - even if they are bad. This can only make them stronger - assuming, of course, that no one is in serious danger.
Trying out things yourself, even doing something 'dangerous' (like climbing all the way up a tree or stealing cherries from a garden), standing on your own two feet - that's only possible if your parents aren't just a button press away or even the next Sitting on a park bench.
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3. Homework
From the fifth grade onwards, we no longer had afternoon care at school. This meant that no one was watching your fingers to see if and how you did your homework. The responsibility lay entirely with us and actually – with one or two exceptions – it worked. And if it didn't work, then you had yourself to blame and had to see how you could fix it.
Instead of always and constantly checking children and their (home) tasks, we should teach them personal responsibility and self-organization. Doing things for them or constantly reminding them of things they should do on their own does not help them stand on their own two feet.
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4. Boredom
Just having nothing to do and just living out the day, that was our summer vacation. Before or after a vacation with our parents, we children were pretty much left to our own devices. And to be honest, our parents didn't care much about keeping us busy.
So when we were lying in the living room staring holes into the ceiling and not knowing where to go, the only thing Mom and Dad often said was: “Think of something.”
And then we did that. So we spent the whole day in the swimming pool with friends, ran around in the nearby forest or simply strolled through the city for hours.
Today, we parents tend to fill our children's time. So instead of leaving them bored in the children's room, we drag them to museums, exhibitions or go on other 'promoting and educational' trips. It actually can't do any harm if the lovely little ones fill the day all by themselves or just get bored.
5. Television
On nice summer days, our parents would kick us out the door so we could exercise outside. But if the weather didn't cooperate, we were allowed to spend a whole day in front of the television, preferably in our pajamas. And once you were old enough to have your own television in your room, you sat in front of it for longer, even on nice days.
Hardly anyone said that too much television makes you stupid. And today, with all the streaming and media library options, that's even less true. One could almost say that television can make our children a little smarter today.
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6. Home alone
Most of us were probably home alone for the first time when we were six or seven years old when mom and dad had to go shopping. And that was somehow completely normal.
A little later you were alone when your parents went to the cinema or went out. This not only made you proud because you were allowed to stay alone, but also made many secret TV evenings possible. Sometimes this has even mended the most divisive relationship with the older or younger sibling - because watching TV together in secret brings us closer together.
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Today we parents are a little more cautious when it comes to children being alone. Because it feels like it's much more dangerous today. But if you talk openly to your children and ask whether they are confident enough to do that, you will be surprised at how many of them would like to let off steam on their own.
So, set rules about the telephone and the bell, where help can be found in an emergency and then walk around the block for half an hour and leave the child or children to fend for themselves.
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