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This is how parents really give their children comfort
Small children cry a lot more than we adults. You can read about why we should take every single tear seriously and how and, above all, why we should be able to comfort our children properly.
When children feel something, they let it out. Most of the time it happens so unfiltered that they almost overwhelm us parents with their outburst.
So what do we adults often do? We go on the defensive and try to bring our children back down to earth. But what they actually need from us adults in this situation is comfort. No relativization of her feelings, no distracting words, just comfort.
You can read about how to comfort children properly and how they can benefit from being comforted properly.
Reading tips:
#1 Acknowledge feelings
There is no doubt that a child feels something when he runs to his parents crying or screaming. So instead of telling him to calm down, stop acting like that, or stop crying, we should just be there and catch him, both figuratively and actually.
It's best to say nothing at all at first and hold your child tightly in your arms and listen.
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#2 Take child and feelings seriously
No matter what it was that made the child cry, we should take it seriously. It may seem like a trivial matter to us if another child pushes forward on the swing or says something mean, but it isn't to our child.
It feels bad and sad about the situation and wants us to be there to absorb this sadness. A simple, “I can understand that this makes you sad,” is all you need to say.
#3 Let him notice his feelings
Questions like, “What exactly happened?” and “Why does this make you so sad?” help a child understand what they are feeling and how that feeling is expressed. This way he can learn to deal with it.
It also promotes his emotional intelligence. Because if you know what it feels like to be sad, you know how to avoid making others sad through your own behavior. Or how to recognize that others are sad and may need help.
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#4 Show understanding
By showing our children understanding of their feelings, we let them know that it is okay to admit feelings. It's okay to be angry or sad. And it's okay to express those feelings and let others know when we don't like something or when they do or say something that hurts us.
If you accept your own feelings, you also accept the feelings of other people and this creates mutual respect.
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#5 Be there
Our children are enough just as they are. Our love for them should always be unconditional. This gives them security and security and allows them to develop freely. And that also includes being there when they are sad, giving them comfort and looking for solutions together with them if they want to.
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