It is really good if someone asks us whether everything is fine if we don't feel good. Because asking someone for help can cost a lot of overcoming. Even our children can do it that way. Your life often seems carefree, but sometimes you too have worries and fears. And they too can suffer so much that they are simply not doing well.
Children already feel pressure at school, pressure from society and pressure from peers. And the pressure can be so big that they suffer extremely.
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So that our children do not grow life over the head, it is important that we are attentive and listen to them. Because sometimes there is much more in the simple things that our children tell us than just an anecdote from their day.
Sentences in which you should give special attention and with which your child may tell you through the flower that you need a little more than usual, the following can be.
"I have abdominal pain."
If the child is healthy and there is no medical finding for recurring abdominal pain, it may be that the child projects his grief, acute stress or worries into his stomach.
Children under the age of ten are difficult to express their feelings. With them you can therefore comment in the form of abdominal pain, which the child also perceives as actual pain and which it tears it out of his activity that has just been done.
If the abdominal pain occurs regularly "for no reason", it is important that parents take the time for the child. It is not about putting the abdominal pain in the foreground, but simply to simply ask and listen to how the day was.
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Drink a cup of tea together and talk about what's going on in his life. Are there new classmates, was there any disputes, a surprising test or anger from the teacher? Is there anything that the child busy or that gives him grief? Most of the time, the abdominal pain takes care of itself during the conversation.
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"I'm afraid."
Fear of children can have many causes and it is important to fathom. Depending on the development phase, certain fears are "normal". Children stranger at eight months and are afraid of being separated from their parents. A little later, at around three to four years, children are in the so -called magical phase.
They are afraid of threatening creatures or in the dark because their imagination is more pronounced. At the age of around six, they understand more of the world, hear and see news and can be afraid of wars, accidents or disasters, even if they are far away. At the age of around eight, they feel the first pressure to perform and in adolescents there are also social fears with the separation from the parents.
Parents should speak to their children, research where the fear comes from and support their child in learning to cope with the fear. If you learn to get your fear under control and to master the situation, you strengthen your self -confidence.
However, if the child's fear lasts longer and the development phase for which the fear is typical has already left behind, it may be that the child has an anxiety disorder. Behavioral therapy can help. Talk to your pediatrician about it, because if an anxiety disorder is diagnosed, the therapy is taken over by the health insurance company.
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"Nobody likes me."
Children can be depressed as we adults. That can just be a bad day, but also a real depression. Diagnosing this in children is difficult. Parents should be attentive if the child changes when it is isolated or anxious and inhibited in dealing with others.
If the school performance decreases or when the child looks depressed, the first sign of depression can be. A reduced level of frustration and strong self -criticism can also be signs of this.
If they are worried, parents should definitely talk to the child doctor about the changed behavior of the child. If there is depression, you can only treat it with professional help.
In general, parents can help children protect themselves against depression. Family stability and a good social network give the child security and certain security. Parents can help their child to strengthen their self -confidence, they can create experiences of success, give responsibility to the child and thus reduce fears. Such measures can protect against depression, but are not a guarantee of it. Because depression is an illness and you should take it seriously.
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"I don't want to go to school."
Pressure pressure, anger with classmates or teachers, but also boredom and underwhelmed can lead to a child no longer wanting to go to school. Talk to your child what exactly is going on. Talk to teachers and search for solutions together.
A change of school is not always an ideal solution. A child has to learn to cope with different people and situations.
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"I can't do that!"
Some children are afraid to do something wrong or not as others expect from them. You feel great pressure to have to do things for others. They often lack self -confidence. Parents can help their child by encouraging them. A child has to learn that things are primarily done for himself so that he is doing well, not for other people.
"I don't know (more)."
If a child is given the answer "I don't know anymore", it can mean that it is afraid to give the wrong answer or to be convicted of his answer. Probably the child lacks self -confidence or it feels an immense pressure, from the outside or out of always having to do things right.
Parents should tell their child that they can and may say what they think. That his opinion, views and thoughts are as much worth as much as yours.
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Small tasks in which the child can take on responsibility and which can control it itself can help him strengthen his self -confidence. If parents trust their child and leave a decision more often, the child will strengthen it. It develops trust in its skills and sometimes dares more.
"Can I sleep with you?"
Even with older children, it is completely legitimate for you to sleep in bed with your parents. In principle, however, you should be able to sleep in your own bed alone. So it often happens that the child wants to go to the parents' bed, parents should ask: Why? Is the child afraid (in the dark)? Did something happen during the day that is still busy or depressed?
"I'm not feeling well! / I do not feel good."
A child who says that it doesn't feel good should always be taken seriously and listened to. Fears, pressure and worries can heavily strain and damage the children's soul. Parents should ask why the child doesn't feel good. Is the child depressed because acute has happened or is it a general mood in which it is located?
Parents who feel helpless and do not know how to help their child who shy away from going to the doctor, but can also contact their parents' phone. TheNumber against griefYou can reach on 0800-111 0 550. The call is free of charge and anonymous on request. Parents receive competent advice and support from Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Tuesdays and Thursdays until 7 p.m.
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