Guilt hits the best moms from time to time. In a way, they show us that we care and take our role as mothers seriously. Whether we feel guilty because we supposedly work too much, are too strict or too lax with our children, give them too many sweets or let them watch TV for too long - the list is unfortunately very, very long.
The crux of feelings of guilt: They can create a real vicious circle. At first we feel bad because we don't play with the children enough. Then we play with them and feel bad because we don't have time to clean up. Then we clean up, but now we can no longer play with the children because that would lead to chaos in the apartment that we had just cleaned up.
Reading tips:
No matter how you do it as a mother: you don't manage to do everything justice and you can twist every situation in such a way that you then blame yourself. And the problem of guilty conscience seems to affect moms everywhere. A separate term has already been introduced in English for exactly this: Mom Guilt.
The good news is that in many situations in which we feel paralyzing guilt, we don't have to feel bad! Not every situation that we don't master one-on-one according to parenting guides is automatically a bad one. And even if we make a mistake, we are human and can learn from it for next time. We'll tell you 5 situations that moms really don't have to feel guilty about!
Also read:
When we want to go out
Whether it's going out with friends or as a couple, or simply the job - many of us mothers always feel guilty when the children have to stay with care. And these feelings of guilt are often divided into two: on the one hand, we feel guilty because we are leaving our children with someone else and on the other hand, because we also want this break from the baby.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your children at home with the babysitter while you allow yourself time just for yourself. After all, happy moms are the best moms. In addition, it can actually be very good for children if they have other caregivers in addition to their parents. The relationship with grandparents, aunts, uncles or godparents can enrich the lives of the little ones immensely and become very valuable to them later.
Reading tips:
If we let our children eat fast food every now and then
After a busy week and a particularly stressful day, the temptation is just too great and instead of cooking something fresh, we serve our children pizza or fries. Many parents blame themselves for this too. Fast food is so terribly unhealthy and would harm the children with every bite. The negative image and blaming comments, especially from other mothers, almost make us think we are poisoning our children.
But let's be honest: a portion of fries every now and then never hurt anyone. And sometimes you just feel like fast food. As with almost everything in life, the measure is crucial here too. Much more important than strictly forbidding our children everything is to teach them how to deal with unhealthy food in a healthy way. So let's not blame ourselves if fast food sometimes ends up on our plate between freshly cooked meals, but let's just enjoy the food instead. After all, it also makes you happy.
When we can't fulfill all of our children's wishes
Nowadays, a lot is expected of us parents financially. The children attend ballet on Mondays, piano lessons on Tuesdays and soccer on Thursdays. It's easy to feel guilty if you can only give your children one leisure activity or only rarely give them expensive gifts. But many of the things we think of as necessities actually aren't.
If we read our children's every wish from their eyes, it can even become problematic. Children still have to learn to value things. So instead of always chasing the next trend and feeling guilty because you can't make everything possible for your child, you should think about what really suits the child. Finally, inappropriate leisure activities can also overwhelm it. A real hobby, on the other hand, can promote self-confidence and make you happy in the long term.
If we briefly turn the television or tablet into a babysitter
It's Sunday morning, the little ones are wide awake, but we ourselves can't imagine anything better than turning over and going back to sleep. At least for another hour. So you just let the kids watch their favorite series while you stay in bed. But you can't really enjoy the time you've gained, because the familiar feelings of guilt soon return.
Also read:
We are told everywhere that it is best not to let children watch television and if they do, then only for short periods of time. However, when we remember our own childhood, we quickly realize that these demands were not yet made of our parents. Our parents didn't mind letting us watch TV so they could do things like cook in peace. Apparently it didn't do any harm.
As long as we don't let our children watch TV all day and make sure that the content is appropriate for their age, there is nothing wrong with some time in front of the TV or tablet.
When we lose patience
The baby has just fallen asleep after being particularly fussy today when the older child suddenly starts screaming loudly. It quickly happened that the tone was wrong. Nobody likes this to happen and our children in particular feel immense guilt when we overreact.
Whenever such a situation occurs, it is advisable to first take a close look at your own behavior. If it happens frequently, we should urgently look for a way to reduce the stress level. Because we usually react angrily because we are overwhelmed. But if we usually react calmly and it was a one-off slip-up, it's enough to talk to your child, apologize and explain how you would have preferred to react. And will respond next time. Then you can let go of the topic and don't have to blame yourself for it anymore. Even the most relaxed parents sometimes overreact.
