We parents think of the well -being of our family with almost everything we say and do. Especially the well -being of our children. But nobody is perfect and immune to mistakes.
Anyway, the degree between educational measures and hurtful behavior is sometimes a very narrower. Something wrong is said or decisions are made about which scars leave on the children's soul.
We are not concerned with increasing the already immense pressure on parents with the following things. But sometimes you lose track and nerve in everyday chaos. So that nobody is injured or feels neglected, we have put together the following things.
Recognition, siblings & the pressure to perform
Children are injured mentally when ...
…they don't feel taken seriously. Above all, the self -confidence of children suffers greatly when they are taught that they constantly say or do something wrong. The opinion of children should be heard as well as those of adults.
…they feel disadvantaged towards siblings. "Your sister would have done it better" or "Look how your brother did it" conveys to children that they are less worth or are valued. Every child is different and therefore you should never compare children.
…You are denied recognition. Children constantly demand recognition and attention from their parents. If you refuse this, gnawing at your self -esteem.
…Feel it too large (performance) pressure. If the parents like to state the child with the child's top performance, it is of course nice, because it shows how proud they are on the child. At the same time, however, the pressure on the offspring is increasing to still create more and better so that the parents can continue to be proud.
Also read:
Have no time & stress
Children are injured mentally when ...
…they are 'deported'. Sometimes there is no other way and you have to accommodate the children with friends, acquaintances or relatives. But if this becomes the rule and is no longer just an exception, it can leave a strange feeling in children.
…You can be fed with a "I don't have time now". Especially at a young age, the attention and recognition of parents is particularly important for children. Too often no time gnaws at your self -esteem. The impression quickly gives the impression that mom and dad never have time for me.
Reading tip:
…You feel that parents are stressed for them. With increasing stress, the parental mood often drops and we are becoming agile. Here is the gymnastics lesson of the big one, since the daughter's training, some days are a horror. Nevertheless, parents should give their children the feeling that they would be happy to accept this stress for them.
…The feeling of being responsible for the separation of the parents is given to them. When the parents are constantly arguing, the children also notice that. They often blame themselves. Instead of presenting them with a separation or divorce, you should speak openly to them.
Also read:
Responsibility, promise & your own opinion
Children are injured mentally when ...
…they are not allowed to talk out. Children also have their own opinion and it is important that parents who also hear.
…Promises are not observed. Promise always creates expectations. Children are very disappointed if, for example, they promise them to go to the cinema or an excursion, which then does not take place. The credibility of parents and trust in them in particular becomes fragile.
Also read:
…they are forced to do something against their will. Sports courses, music lessons, excursions - parents meant well to offer their child these opportunities. But not every child is willing to do these things. However, if parents constantly decide for their child instead of deciding with him, they speak to him their own opinion. The child keeps in the head that his opinion does not count.
Reading tip:
Silence, suppressed feelings & privacy
Children are injured mentally when ...
…they are punished with silence. Anyone who ignores children or punish them with silence gives them the feeling that they are not worth anything.
…they are not allowed to show feelings. Leaving feelings wild helps us to drain frustration, express trouble and to deal with problems. If you cannot show feelings, you can not learn to read feelings of others.
Reading tip:
…they have no privacy. Children also need a place to retreat where they keep their things, hide small secrets and sometimes live in chaos. This gives them that they are respected and that they are trusted.
Reading tip:
Wishes, help & independence
Children are injured mentally when ...
…your own wishes are discussed. Anyone who makes children their own wishes and ideas are unsettling them. Everyone has the right to pursue their dreams.
Be sure to read:
…Your request for advice or help will be ignored. Trust in the parents suffers massively when they refuse advice and help.
…Your independence is suppressed. Regardless of whether toddler or teen, children are said that they should not or do not let something, they will believe in the parents in most cases. This is a large cut in your independence and your self -confidence.
Also read:
