There is no magic formula you can use to raise your children. Because there is neither a single right nor a single wrong. On the one hand, because every child is different and reacts differently. But also because parents have different ideas.
But everyone agrees that children need and have to learn certain things in order to stand on their own, secure feet at some point. How parents do this is at least as individual as the children. However, a pattern can still be recognized. We asked around among our moms and revealed the tips with the most commonality.
1. Recognize and promote the ability to take criticism
It is important to praise children for things they have done particularly well, beautifully or persistently. The focus of praise should not always be on the result, but rather on the work invested in bringing the child to this point. Staying honest is very important. Nothing shocks a child's soul more than finding out that the praise was simply a lie.
In addition to positive and reinforcing criticism, it is just as important to learn how to deal with negative criticism. Because only those who can recognize their mistakes can really learn from them. When it comes to recognizing mistakes, children need careful help at the beginning. Constructive criticism is particularly important here.
2. Let your child do it!
Even in early childhood, independence is important for children. Of course, every now and then something goes wrong, for example when the child holds the spoon alone for the first time or later gets dressed alone. But a child grows from each of these opportunities. Especially when you get it right for the first time after countless failed attempts.
The older a child gets, the greater the milestones they have to overcome, but the greater the steps towards independence. The first meeting with a friend without parents, the first time going to school alone, the first time riding the bus alone. The more we parents can let go of our child (which is difficult every first time), the stronger and greater his or her self-confidence will become.
3. Let your child make decisions
Your child wants to feel like a full member of the family from an early age. Show him that his voice counts and listen. Allow him to make decisions. Even if you are sometimes convinced that it is not right. Let your child have positive and negative experiences. It will learn from both.
Anyone who learns to make their own decisions also learns to have to deal with the consequences. And that is important later in life. Anyone who can decide does not shy away from challenges and sometimes takes risks.
4. Give the gift of time and physical closeness
It is particularly important for children that we make enough time for them. There are also cuddles, because physical closeness allows the child to feel how much they are loved.
A loving pat on the head, a warm hug or cuddling together on the sofa – these are the gestures that your child needs. This makes them feel safe, secure and accepted. Show your child that they are the most important person in the world to you.
5. Love unconditionally
Every child comes up with less than glorious ideas at some point. Then things break, disappear or become damaged. Of course, as a parent you don't just have to accept this and you certainly don't have to free your child from every difficulty.
However, through everything, good and bad, a child needs to let them know that their parents are always there and love them. That it is loved unconditionally. Even if the parents don't seem to be the biggest fans because of something stupid.
6. Give your child support
A child must grow up with the feeling that they can always rely on their parents for help. It needs to know that it is understood. He needs to know that his parents are there to support him. This basic trust helps him to take risks sometimes. And it helps him understand what it means to be there for each other.
Providing support doesn't just mean being there for the child in difficult situations. Everyday situations, gestures and rituals such as fixed meal times or watching series together or chatting about the day just before going to bed also provide support.
7. Let him have contact with other children early on
In order for your child to develop their social skills, it is extremely important that they have the opportunity to be with other children from an early age, whether in daycare, playgroups or regular meetings with friends.
Children learn important skills from and with other children. You learn to share, assert yourself and make compromises. They learn to argue, be considerate and what it means to be part of a group. And very importantly, when interacting with smaller children, children of the same age or older children, they learn to accept their own limits and those of others.
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