Scientifically explained: Why men often get over their exes more quickly

Table of contents

• Do men have a 'comfort woman' after a breakup?
• Men after separation: pragmatics and self-preservation
• After the separation: off to new shores
• Do men and women suffer differently?

Going through a breakup is never easy. It doesn't matter whether you separated on good terms or whether an affair was the reason for the breakup. However, one thing always strikes you: men seem to recover well after the breakup and don't have that much trouble with the end of the relationship. Things are different for women: in the first few months of the separation, cheesy rom-coms and a lot of tissues are the order of the day.

Of course the whole thing is totally exaggerated and clichés and gender roles certainly play a big role in it. But could it be that there is still a grain of truth in it? What does science say about this? Can you even generalize the whole thing like that?

Do men have a 'comfort woman' after a breakup?

According to the expert, there is less heartlessness behind the male tendency to get involved in a new relationship more quickly than logic and pragmatism: “Many men are simply comfortable and like to be looked after at home. The new one doesn't have to be the dream woman either. For many men, she is initially a 'comfort partner' with whom they can ignore small flaws. You stay with her as long as it lasts.„

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Men after separation: pragmatics and self-preservation

A study by online dating agencies also shows that many men are quickly ready to seek happiness in a new relationshipElitePartner.deto confirm.

According to this, one in four newly separated men falls in love with a new partner very quickly. And that specifically means: Just four weeks after the breakup, he is open to a new relationship. Both phases can also overlap.

In other words: The man is already actively looking for a new love, but is still mourning the old one. A kind of self-preservation instinct kicks in here. A protection mechanism for the injured ego. Because of course a separation affects men too and shakes their self-confidence. But their reaction to this is often different than that of women.

Instead of forever licking their wounds and agonizing over what went wrong, many men seem to be starting some kind of rescue program. A measure that shortens the suffering and allows you to come to terms with the painful separation more quickly.

"ManyWomen tend to wallow in misery and self-pity. Men usually don't allow themselves this weakness. That's why they look forward more quickly", says Dr. Frauke Höllering.

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After the separation: off to new shores

One might hastily assume that men are just numbing the pain of separation instead of processing it. The expert contradicts this: “This has little to do with anesthesia. Men are just more active in coming to terms with the past.“

Processing includes the realization: The separation can no longer be changed, so I accept it and move on. And that's not stupid at all, it helps many men get out of the valley of grief more quickly.

Where “faster” is relative, like onerecent surveyfrom ElitePartner shows. Men have to nibble on the end of love for a similar amount of time as women (women: 12.8 months vs. men: 11.9 months). However, men act differently, even if they are still internally attached to the relationship. And that is the difference.

Do men and women suffer differently?

Nevertheless, the female tactics are not fundamentally the worse, according to the expert: “I recommend everyone to take a break and ask themselves what led to the breakup. This is only possible if you can tolerate being alone sometimes. Otherwise, the same problems will arise with the next partner.„

Of course, you shouldn't lump all men and all women together. That would be too simplistic. Therefore, don't see this article as "that's exactly how it is", but rather as an incentive to question your own opinion and look at the topic from different perspectives.