This is how men fall in love: There are four phases

Men and women sometimes seem to work differently when it comes to love. But what's the point? An expert explains the phenomenon.

Table of contents

It often seems that men fall in love differently than women. During the getting-to-know-you phase, many men are calmer and often don't want to rush into anything. But is that really true or is it just prejudice? We reveal how men really fall in love.

How do men fall in love? There are these 4 phases

Men actually fall in love a little differently than women. At least that's what the American saysPaartherapeut John Gray. He believes that men usually go through the following four phases when they are ready to let a new love into their life:

Phase 1: Physical Attraction

Character is important. Clearly. But the first priority is the first impression and therefore external appearances. Physical attraction is logically also an important first factor for men, which arouses their interest and makes the potential partner stand out from the crowd.

From a men's point of view, love at first sight is not necessarily that unlikely. During this phase, men feel physically attracted to their counterparts - at least that's what John Gray says.

Phase 2: Emotions

In this phase of falling in love, emotions are added to the first stimuli. Men are now developing feelings for their new acquaintance. Mind you: feelings of infatuation. It would be premature to talk about love, because phase 3 is still coming.

Phase 3: Personality check

In this phase, men explore the entire package, i.e. the character and personality of the potential dream partner, according to the expert. He gets to know the other person better and more intensively, recognizes what makes the other person tick, what he likes and what exactly he is looking for in a relationship. Is he loyal, loving, humorous? Is the chemistry right? All of this is coming into play now and is crucial for whether things continue or not.

(Also interesting: Most men want women to have self-confidence, humor and authenticity.)

Phase 4: Getting involved in a partnership

In the last phase, men usually fall in love and are ready to get involved in a new relationship. The relationship with each other becomes more binding and stronger. He is convinced that it will fit. Men are now serious and ready for more.

How do women fall in love differently?

Interestingly, according to John Gray, the order in which women fall in love is different than that of men. For them, phase 1 is all about the personality and character of the man. Only then do women allow emotions. So much for the theory.

Physical attraction (at least that's what psychological studies see, especially that of the American couples therapist John Gray) follows in phase 3, before a woman gets involved in a relationship in phase 4.

Also read: : Can we control our emotions?

These are the 4 phases of falling in love with women

Phase 1: Personality check
Phase 2: Emotions
Phase 3: Physical Attraction
Phase 4: Getting involved in a partnership

So do men fall in love faster?

What can be concluded from this? If you follow the expert's theory, men are more visual, which is why they are more likely to experience love (or attraction) at first sight. You can be blown away by your new acquaintance from now on.

This means they fall in love a little quicker than many women who first carry out a character analysis, according to the expert. However, this has no effect on the intensity of feelings in a relationship. Because if a man is completely in love with his partner, then it is of course just as intense as from the woman's side.

How does falling in love manifest itself in a man?

Of course, something like that can hardly be said in general. After all, every person is wired differently. But there are a few fairly common signs of falling in love.

A clear sign, for example, is if he repeatedly seeks physical contact - and we don't mean here that he wants to get straight into the box with the woman of his choice, but rather small touches, such as stroking your arm, holding your hand or her remove a strand of hair from your face. Just that feeling that he can't keep his hands off her when he sits across from her.

In addition, men who are in love want to see their new acquaintance as often as possible and spend time with them. Even hobbies and friends are sometimes left behind. And: He is more likely to forgive her weaknesses and mistakes than others and is more lenient in his judgment (an advantage of rose-colored glasses!).

And one more thing: Men in love are often (not always) so wonderfully attentive that later, when you are with them and this attention wears off, you rave about them for a long time. But men also enjoy this advantage when women are in love.

More on the topic:


These are 10 pretty clear signs