First, medium or youngest child? Study shows how much this shapes us

Large siblings do a lot of performance and the youngest need the most love? Experts and studies reveal what is really true.

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AlthoughAs a rule, your personalities can be as different as day and night. Where does that come from? The Austrian development researcher dealt with this questionAlfred AdlerAs early as the 1920s, including in his work 'knowledge of people'.

According to Adler, it plays an important role in the development of a person's character whether he was born the first, medium or youngest child. Against this background, Adler accounts for various types of siblings, each of which is very different from each other.

According to psychologists: The sibling constellation is so strongly shaped

Since its publication, Adler's thesis has been underpinned, differentiated and supplemented by many scientists. We have with psychologist and authorDr. Wolfgang KrügerSpeeches about the theory of the different types of siblings and about which character traits, problems and strengths they carry.

"95 percent is actually the case, as Adler says," says Dr. Wolfgang Krüger. "Nevertheless: In individual cases it is always possible that it turns very differently than you would expect based on the sibling constellation."

You are the firstborn child

The firstborn child initially gets the undivided attention of the parents. But at some point it has to cope that this changes with the birth of a sibling. "The child has the painful experience of being emaciated," says Dr. Wolfgang Krüger. “After that, it often has to help with the care of the siblings. It is the elongated arm of the parents, so to speak. "

This shapes the character: “The first -born child knows that it is particularly recognized that it performs well. Helpfulness and adaptability are required. Firstborns are therefore often performance -oriented - and they like to determine. They usually develop faster than their siblings, like to take responsibility and are reliable. ”

Especially among managers and politicians you will find typical firstborns. This was the result of a study by the University of Leiden (Rudy Andeweg/ Steef van den Berger, 2003). 1200 Dutch politicians were interviewed for this. Firstborns were clearly overrepresented among them!

Of course, the typical character traits of the firstborns show not only at work, but also in private life. "Many firstborns are difficult to indulge and are rather reserved for tenderness," says Dr. Wolfgang Krüger.

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You are the middle 'sandwich' child

The middle child is also often referred to as a "sandwich child". “These children are the eternal second. The good thing is that they are often particularly able to have a balancing effect and remain factual. They like to work in the second row and are ambitious without urging themselves, ”says Dr. Kruger.

The middle position in the family often makes sandwich children good diplomats. They close compromises and convey between their siblings. But according to Wolfgang Krüger, the middle position can also have a negative impact: "A sandwich child has difficulties wherever it has to show the flag itself."

But that doesn't have to be that way! “With a sandwich child, the sibling constellation always depends. If it is the only boy or the only girl among the siblings, it is the 'little prince' or the 'little princess', so to speak. Then the situation looks very different again! "

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You are the nest crown

"The Nesthäkchen gets a lot of attention, because it is the youngest and supposedly weakest member of the family throughout his life," says Dr. Wolfgang Krüger. “It has a special social competence and ability to close. It is very tender and devoted in partnerships. The typical youngest is happy to be pampered and is looking for a partner who can subordinate and who can be determined. ”

On the other hand, Nesthäkchen are often not very conflicting and independent. They are the typical participants. The American family researcher Frank J. Sulloway believes that Nesthäkchen as physically weakest members of the family learn early to avoid violent confrontations. Dr. Krüger convinces: "They prefer to make compromises and look for the conciliatory balance in a dispute."

While older siblings try to score more over the performance rail, the youngest child has the ability to be coquettish and charming.

"But the youngest are also creative and open -minded towards the new," said the expert. After all, the younger sibling must find its own niche, one that has not yet been occupied by older siblings.

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You are twin

"Twins always have to strive to differentiate themselves from the other twin and have something of their own," says Dr. Kruger. "Above all, identical twins often long for their own identity." Parents should definitely help twins to experience themselves as individual. For example, this means that they do not constantly attract both and support separate hobbies and friends of friends.

Due to the close bond with the brother or sister, twins often have problems building a partnership. The silly band is too tight and it is often difficult for both to let go and to enter into a different intimate relationship.

But twins also have something ahead of other children! "They often have an excellent social competence and are mental and mental high -spirits through the constant presence of the brother or the sister," says Dr. Wolfgang Krüger.

You are a single child

Everyone knows this cliché: individual children are considered spoiled because everything has turned around them in their parents' house. "This can have a positive and negative effect," says the expert. “Individual children often have a good self -confidence because they never had to experience that the parents' grant is limited. You don't know this uncertainty. "

At the same time, however, many single children have a weakly pronounced social competence. “Anyone who has siblings learns from an early age to fight for their needs and to carry out conflicts. This training for life does not go through individual children. They always only have to do with authorities, namely with their parents, ”says Dr. Kruger. The result: "Everything that has to do with power and at the same time social competence do not learn so well."

Incidentally, the original father of sibling research, Alfred Adler, wrote little about the individual children in the 1920s. No wonder: at that time each child had five siblings on average. Today, according to the Federal Center for Political Education, every third child in Germany is already a single child.