Why failure is not a negative thing and why mistakes can actually help

Nobody wants to fail in a project. But the fact is that not everything you start can succeed. There is always a chance that something won't work, will have to be stopped early, or won't even get started. If you didn't take this risk, no movement, no chance, no progress would ever be possible. The price for a life without the possibility of failure is great and it means: standing still.

Failure has a bad reputation in this country. You prefer to play it safe, you may be afraid of criticism from others and feeloften as a threat. Back at the end of the 1990s, a study at the Leuphana University of Lüneburg compared the error culture in terms of error tolerance in 61 countries. Germany ended up in second to last place.

Why do we often judge ourselves so harshly and have such a negative attitude towards mistakes? I too was often afraid of failure in my life and only half-heartedly exploited my possibilities. and I still failed. My view of making mistakes has changed in the last few years. And these approaches inspire me?

EveryoneThe decisions we make and every task we undertake are preceded by a certain expectation. If this is not met, it is often understood as failure. It is also possible to miss the desired goal due to external influences that cannot be influenced.

Specifically, failure can look like this: the end of a relationship or marriage, an unfulfilled lifelong dream, a termination from work, personal or professional bankruptcy. For example, it could be that you have all your courage, yourand takes his money, starts a business, and still fails. Whether you fail doesn't necessarily have to do with whether you try hard or not.

Failing can feel like a loss of control. You lose sight of your path and feel the situation is hopeless, at least at first. Psychologist and author Stefanie Stahl describes on her website that mistakes activate the pain center in the brain and as a result you actually suffer. Because: Most of us associate failure with discomfort, and this feeling is in turn classified by the brain as a danger.

The more you connect failure with yourself and who you are, the more impact it can have on your self-worth. And the brain sees failure as a result that is even more dangerous.

I don't want to glorify the biggest crises of my life. Minefor example, it's really not something I ever wanted for my life or the start of my motherhood. Nevertheless, I believe today that it was precisely this failure that set me on the path to finding myself and coming to terms with what was always preventing me from living a fulfilling life. It made me realize that I need to change my life.

“I always thought that if I closed my eyes or didn’t listen, something would go away,” says mentor and coach Lotta Katharina Laabs in the Get Happy Podcast by and with Kathie Kleff. But and this is what Laabs also says: Nothing really disappears until you have dealt with it. You heal by looking. Not facing your failures and crises gets in the way. After a crisis, you are more vigilant, more appreciative and more humble about the greatness of life, says Laabs. This process, i.e. going through a crisis and failure, can and may take time.

Not every failure equals a life crisis. Regardless of whether the situation is huge or not, it can help to accept and accept what is. After persisting in failure (which is completely normal, by the way), you can consider what options you have. Taking action gives you direction and hope again.

Here I find a simple picture that is mineshared with me in the past, valuable: Life moves in waves and no wave stays in the valley forever? she keeps going up. After failing at or with something, you won't be down forever.

According to psychologist Stefanie Stahl, there are three things that can be particularly helpful when dealing with everyday mistakes and everyday failure:

There can be disappointment after failure. It is fatal and not a healthy way to deal with failure or mistakes to deny yourself this feeling. Failure is often frightening precisely because you fear holding on and experiencing the emotions associated with it. Yes: Not every feeling is pleasant and letting emotions be there can mean sadness and pain. However, believing that you can avoid suffering by not facing certain feelings is a fallacy. Failure can teach you a lot about yourself and turn your focus inward? and enable a life of abundance and fulfillment.

The good news at the end: Failure is human. The bad: Failure is human and inevitable. Let's take advantage of the opportunity that lies within. With an open mind and an open heart.