Parenting trend: Why you raise better children as a “lazy parent”.

I'm definitely 'a little late to the party' because I just recently heard from 'Lazy Parenting, heard. And sorry? Being lazy as a recommended parenting method? I don't have to be told that twice.

Don't worry, becoming 'lazy parents' isn't about leaving your children completely to their own devices. Rather, it's about consciously holding back in situations that (only apparently) require intervention.

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So instead of running after the children and reminding them of this and that, 'lazy parents' just sit back. And then?

How do you become good 'lazy parents'?

The Danish family therapist and family expert Jesper Juul constantly preached to parents to just let their children do what they do. Not to jump to their side at the slightest obstacle and let them solve their problems themselves. Not to keep them busy all the time and to let them get bored sometimes.

If Juul had its way, parents should always guide their children gently and firmly, but let them act independently. Different toandwho leave nothing to chance with their children. But please not like that either, which dip a little too often.

It sounds anything but difficult and yet we parents find it very difficult. For my part, I definitely do. For example, I find myself asking my children every day whether they have homework and then of course whether they have completed it. I often ask if they have studied for the test or class test. In a sense, I am her (school) calendar.

Lazy parents definitely don't do that. They can endure it when things go wrong. And this saves you a lot of stress.

Also by not trying to persuade their children to take up a hobby, be it learning a musical instrument or joining a sports club. Because the little ones have to get there somehow. And one less trip in the parents' taxi is at least half an hour of free time for us.

Lazy parents also don't interfere in friendships, even if the new friend doesn't seem to be the best person to be with. And they certainly don't clean up after their children, return long-used books to the library for them or make appointments for the child.

Lazy parents allow their children to make conscious decisions and can tolerate the fact that they will make mistakes, miss appointments and fail tests. And what’s the point of all this?

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Benefits of Lazy Parenting for Children

For more time and peace of mind for yourself and your family. If you as a mother or father delete a lot of appointments from your own calendar that you have made for the children, there is a lot more space.

And because children learn their self-efficacy with it. They take responsibility for themselves and for their (school) success. They can try it out, they learn to be independent, to trust in themselves and to persevere. Because they will fail at one point or another and make mistakes. But these failures and mistakes will make them stronger.

Because children of 'lazy parents' have to be brave (because their parents trust them to do things that they might not have thought possible yet), this makes them self-confident, happy and independent. And that's pretty much what we parents want for them.

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