"I don't want to go to the daycare center!" Does the sentence also seem familiar to you? Probably yes. Because even if the early days in the daycare center went well, at some point there is a time when our mice suddenly have no desire to be separated from mom and dad.
Ok, we can now say that all of this is just a phase. Like so much with the little ones. The children don't feel like eating anymore? That's just a phase! My child has suddenly not sleeped through for a few days? That can only be a phase! Does your child just want to be brought to bed by dad? Yes, but that will definitely be just a phase!
In many cases, a sudden daycare strike can also be a phase. But sometimes there is more behind it. You can read here how parents react correctly, if the child does not want to go to the daycare center and what reasons are behind it.
At first well, then bad: Why does the daycare dance almost always come with a delay?
While the first few days and weeks often go well and the child (apparently) feels comfortable in the daycare, it often looks different after a while. I also had to find that.
After a few weeks, my son absolutely didn't want to go to the daycare. At the door he cried thick roller tears, although everything was good one day before. I was completely perplexed: something had happened or where did this heartbreaking farewell pain suddenly come from?
Fortunately, the educators could calm me down. Nothing happened, everything would be good. Most children would go through that at some point.
While the first few weeks are still full of excitement and the child simply "survives" everyday day care centers without thinking about it, this excitement and the stimulus of the new have gone after a while. The problem with this: the little ones have not yet arrived properly. Sudden uncertainty spreads. No wonder that our children no longer feel comfortable overnight and do not want to separate from us.
If this "phase" lasts longer, the reasons can also sit deeper. Here it is important to go to the cause research.
Why the child doesn't want to go to the daycare center
Sometimes it is not so easy to find out why the child is on strike. After all, most children are not very talkative after the daycare center and hold back with long explanations, as their day was.
Here it can help to ask very specific questions. Instead of "Did you have a nice day today?" Asks better: "Who did you play with today?" Or "What was the most fun today?".
Children are often overwhelmed with open, general questions. Especially when you have a strenuous daycare day and just want to relax.
You can only find out what is behind the feelings of your offspring, in which you speak to your child and the educator. The most common reasons for daycare deprivation are:
1. Separation fear
Fear of separation is probably one of the most common reasons why the child no longer wants to go to the daycare center. This can also occur suddenly, even though everything was good before.
2. Changes in everyday day care centers
Children like routines. They give them security. The children get used to the new surroundings and build a relationship with the educators.
If something changes in childcare, this can ensure that the little ones are unsettled. For example, a change of supervisors or new additions to the children.
3. Changes at home
In addition to changes that affect everyday day care centers, changes at home can of course also be the problem. Often the little ones get more than you think. Disputes between the parents can definitely be a reason for the sudden dislike of the children against visiting the daycare center. However, other factors can also play a role.
Is mom pregnant again? Is there a new sibling? Has the family moved or have you just come back from a vacation? All of this can lead to the little ones no longer want to go to the daycare overnight.
4. Boredom
For children, the kindergarten should actually be a paradise. Everywhere are toys and other children with whom you can play. But that doesn't have to be liked to do that.
While some children discover the daycare center every day, there are children who are bored after a while. Yes, right. This happens particularly often when the children are together with many younger peers. You can then simply feel underwhelmed. After all, 1-year-olds have different needs than a 2.5-year-old child.
5. Development spurts
Children keep developing. They become more independent, question situations and develop more and more intellectual and social skills. An extreme development of development can be a reason why your child rejects the daycare center overnight.
6. Haning or violence
There can also be real fear behind the child's aversion. For example, when the child was teased, marginalized or injured by one or more other children.
Unfortunately, violence by daycare staff also occurs and can be the reason why the child suddenly no longer wants to go to the daycare center.
It is therefore important: pay attention to changes in your child's behavior and on visible signs of violence. In the event of such a suspicion, absolutely seek talking to the daycare staff and other parents as soon as possible. If you are severely suspected of the facility, you should come together with other daycare parents and contact the responsible authorities.
Tips that alleviate the daycare dial.
Phases in which children are difficult to say goodbye to their parents are quite normal and at first no sign of concern. At this time, educators recommend making the farewell as short and painless as possible.
Sometimes it can help to introduce a certain farewell routine. For example, that the child "flies" to his reference teacher or the parents are "thrown out" to the door by child and caregiver.
In order to find out whether it is a normal phase or another reason behind the "daycare strike" of our offspring, it is important to seek talking to the educators. Try to find a solution together and let yourself be given tips through the experienced staff.
We parents can also be sad
It is completely okay that we parents also fight with our feelings if our child does not want to go to the daycare center. We can be emotional.
However, we should only let our tears run free when we are out of sight of our child. If our children get our emotions, they unsettle them and the farewell is even more difficult for them. Sometimes it works better when the other parent takes over.
To make it easier for you, you can agree with the daycare staff that they contact you when the child has calmed down. Often it turns out that tears dry up very quickly as soon as mom or dad are out of the door.
If it is possible for you professionally, then it can also help to take a short daycare break for one or more days.
You can only find out which path is the right one for you together with your child and the educator. Be patient with you and your children and always remember: You are not alone with your feelings!
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