Do you know the feeling when your child comes home after a long day at school, sits down and calmly talks about a friend they helped with a problem during recess? Or when he or she simply says to you: “Mom, I wish you are well.” And in that moment you feel your child’s unconditional love, without any specific reason, just out of a deep, honest feeling out of here.
Moments like these, when we are completely overwhelmed by our children's empathy and attention, are very special. And honestly, I often wonder if it's a feature of today's world that children are so empathetic and compassionate. Maybe they are even more empathetic than the generations before them?
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How we Millennials shape our children
As Millennial parents, part of the generation that grew up in the '80s and '90s, we are experiencing an exciting shift in the way we raise our children. We are the generation that grew up with digitalization, that deals with climate change and is passionate about social issues such as equality and tolerance.
But what is perhaps most striking is that we are parents who raise children differently than we were raised ourselves. We get asked the question “How are you really?” because it’s completely normal for us to talk about feelings.
I often think about how we as parents teach our children the importance of noticing and responding to the emotions of others. When we were little, we were often told to “stop crying” or “pull yourself together” when we were sad. Today we show our children that it is completely okay to feel sad or angry. And that it is even important to express these feelings. The focus has shifted: it is no longer just about discipline, but about accompanying the child in his entire emotional world.
It’s about much more than “Because it’s important to be nice.” Empathy is an essential part of emotional intelligence, andStudies provethat children learn their ability to empathize from their parents. Children of Millennials have been learning to understand their own emotions while recognizing those of others since they were little.
Why our children are particularly sensitive today
What always amazes me is the deep connection that my children develop with other people and also with animals and nature. This could also be because they are confronted with an unprecedented flood of information from an early age. They are constantly exposed to other people's emotions and life stories on social media, YouTube, and the news. I see how my daughter suddenly becomes very thoughtful when she hears about a child in another country who is on the run. Or how my son takes care of our dog and comforts him when he doesn't feel well or is frightened.
This type of empathy is not a coincidence, but a product of our interconnected world. Children see, hear and feel more than ever before. They grow up in a society that is increasingly dealing with issues such as racism, climate change and poverty.
Access to information has changed radically and with it awareness of the suffering and needs of others. This not only makes them more intelligent, but also more empathetic.
I especially notice this when my children tell me their perspective on a current topic. Whether it's about justice or dealing with people in difficult life situations - their opinions are well thought out and shaped by a deep understanding of other people's emotions. They know that it is important to put yourself in the other person's shoes.
What we parents do differently today
There are moments when I feel really proud because I realize that the values I want to teach my children are bearing fruit. I try to be a parent who is not only authoritative, but also sensitive and respectful of my children's feelings. Yes, there are rules and boundaries, but there is just as much room for conversation, for sharing feelings and for mutual understanding.
When my son becomes angry or impatient during a discussion, I don't immediately try to admonish him or tell him to pull himself together. Instead, I ask him what made him so angry and listen to him. I want him to understand that his feelings are okay. And that it's okay to seek help if you can't get anywhere on your own. At the same time, I try to convey to him the importance of respecting other people's feelings.
Are Millennial children particularly empathetic?
Of course, it is not so easy to say that today's childrendiemost empathetic generation of all time. After all, previous generations have grown with their own challenges and strengths. But I have the feeling that as parents today we do everything we can to raise our children to be particularly sensitive, socially responsible and reflective people.
It's exciting to see how society's focus has shifted. Children used to be expected to conform, function and submit. Today it's about not only strengthening our children, but also raising them to be sensitive and empathetic personalities.
I believe that this development will enrich society as a whole. Children of today have grown up in a time in which people take responsibility for others, and not just within their own circle. They learn from an early age that empathy plays a key role in shaping a better future. And I am convinced that they will carry on exactly these values.
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