Tried and tested by moms: 10 tips to make saying goodbye to daycare easier

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At some point the time will come when the children go to daycare. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later.

No matter when, there are two options for the scenario at the daycare door: Either the child confidently walks into the room with a backpack on his back and says goodbye to mom and dad with a kiss or a wave. Or there is a tearful farewell in which the child definitely doesn't want to leave mom or dad's arm and clings on.

Fortunately for us it was option 1 in the initial phase. After a short period of getting used to it without any major problems, saying goodbye at the daycare door was purely a formality. A little kiss, a quick wave and goodbye - and that's it.

As a mom, on the one hand, I was of course proud and happy about the unproblematic farewell to daycare. But on the other hand, I was sad that my child seemed to be doing well without his mother.

But the peaceful farewell was not to last. At some point, from now on and without much warning, the farewell turned into a complete catastrophe. The little one cried big tears and wouldn't let himself be put down. Why? We don't know. Perhaps the fear of separation or loss had become greater.

As a mom and dad you have to be strong

Now it was time to be strong and not give in. Even though it was very hard for me to leave the little one crying.

We knew that this couldn't remain a permanent situation. But what should you do? And how can you make the daycare farewell easier for the little ones?

We'll show you a few tips and tricks on how you can make it easier for your children to say goodbye to daycare and how you can best react to big tears (tested by our editors and found to be good).

1. No long goodbyes

If the children cry, the farewell should be kept as short as possible. The shorter, the better. This can be quite emotional for moms, but it's no use to anyone if both (child and mom) continue to get further involved in the situation and can't separate. So it's best to close your eyes and keep going.

2. Less stress in the morning

If the morning starts off stressful, tears are often inevitable. And even at home and not just at daycare. That's why, even if it's hard, it's best to get up a little earlier, prepare your lunch box in peace and get ready. Maybe there will even be a little time left to read a book with the little ones and start the day relaxed.

3. Introduce farewell rituals

Introduce special farewell rituals. This can be a simple high-five or you can both draw a heart on each other's hands as a farewell. The child can always touch and look at this when they miss mom and dad.

4. Enlist other caregivers for help

Sometimes the solution is closer than you think. If mom always cries at the daycare door, it can help if dad takes over the role and takes the little ones away. Maybe it's because they find the farewell to be less emotional. No matter why, it's worth trying.

If dad unfortunately doesn't have time, maybe grandma and grandpa can step in and take the little ones to daycare. Often saying goodbye isn't that difficult.

5. Take a comforter with you

If there is a lot of drama at the daycare door, or if the child is already acting up at home, it can help if they can take a small source of comfort with them to daycare. This can be your favorite cuddly toy, a comforter or a scarf that smells like mom or dad. This means that the child can cuddle at any time when they are homesick and have mom or dad very close to them.

6. Don't make drama yourself

It sounds simple, but sometimes it's really hard for a mom: Don't make any drama yourself! When your child cries big crocodile tears, you may have to swallow them yourself to avoid becoming emotional. But you should absolutely avoid this.

Moms who don't want to go themselves and subconsciously show this to the child through their behavior and body language only make it harder for everyone. Of course, no one likes to leave their own crying child behind. If saying goodbye is difficult, you should encourage the child and give them self-confidence. Body language must also express this. So make your farewell loving but quick.

7. Take your time and distract yourself

As already mentioned, the morning should start as stress-free as possible. This also means that it should be quiet outside the daycare door. If you see that there are already a lot of crying children there, it is worth waiting a little further away until the kids have calmed down or are in the room.

Meanwhile, go for a walk outside with your child. Look at the sky or collect a few more acorns and chestnuts. Distraction is good in such a moment.

8. Meet friends in front of the daycare center and go in together

If the child often cries when saying goodbye at the daycare door, it can sometimes help to meet friends there beforehand and go in together. Many things are much easier with two people.

9. Siblings as role models

If you have to bring several children to daycare, it makes sense that the kids who have no problems saying goodbye at daycare go first. You can be a good role model. Let the siblings hold hands and go to daycare in pairs. This makes saying goodbye sometimes easier.

10. Read daycare books

When we reached the stage where our son was standing in front of the daycare center crying, daycare books helped us. Most of the time we even had time to read and look through them in the morning, so the “fear” of going to daycare was reduced.

At Thalia you will find a large selection of great children's books that can take away your fear of daycare.The book “Now I’m going to daycare” by Constanze Kitzing is particularly beautiful.*

Tipp:Talk to your children and try to find out why the little ones no longer want to go to daycare or why they no longer want to be separated from mom and dad. This can happen in a role play or in bed in the evening, snuggled up close to mom and dad. Be sure to ask the teachers whether there were or are any problems.

You should also always ask when picking up whether the child can calm down quickly and whether the tears have dried quickly.

Further reading tips: