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First in the video: With these tips your sex will be even better
Everything is perfect, you and your loved one are just getting going and suddenly it's like having a power outage in the middle of the best movie scene. Plug out, air out, like an air mattress without a plug.
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Unfortunately, it happens in the best relationships that men come too early during intercourse. But that doesn't mean that you have to put up with premature ejaculation. Luckily, because if the problem occurs frequently, it can be very stressful for the relationship: feelings of shame on the part of the partner, frustration on the part of the partner, difficulties for both those affected to address the sensitive topic...
It is incredibly important to discuss (especially) sexual problems openly in order to get to the bottom of them and find a solution. It would be a shame to make the most beautiful thing in the world a taboo topic in a relationship. And so that exactly that doesn't happen, we'll explain everything you need to know about premature ejaculation (or "ejaculatio praecox", as it's technically called) and, above all, what you can do about it.
What are the causes of premature ejaculation and how can it be prevented? Here is some useful information!
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At what point do we even talk about “coming too early”?
Are we talking minutes or even seconds? Of course, it is difficult to say what exactly is “normal” and what is “too early”. This is usually referred to as premature ejaculation when the man can no longer control the timing of ejaculation and sometimes comes while he is just penetrating.
There is also a so-called diagnostic classification system from the World Health Organization. After that, ejaculation after 15 seconds or less is “too early”. Other doctors also speak of 30 seconds or even a minute.
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The reasons why men come too early
The problem with premature ejaculation can be caused by a physical disorder or have psychological causes.
1. Physical causes of premature ejaculation
If your partner often comes “too quickly”, physical illnesses such as diabetes mellitus or urinary tract inflammation may be the cause. Sometimes ejaculatio praecox is also due to the side effects of medication or drugs. The problem may also be related to erectile dysfunction. Of course, a doctor should be consulted here.
2. Psychological causes of premature ejaculation
In addition to organic causes, psychological causes such as stress, relationship problems or simply too high expectations can also be responsible for premature ejaculation. In this case too, if the problem bothers him greatly, the man can consult a doctor. Because it is not uncommon for the problem to get worse if you are constantly concerned with fear of failure - at some point nothing will work anymore. Therefore: keep calm, this happens to many men, and above all: you can do something about it!
What can the doctor do?
If the suffering is high, the doctor can prescribe medication or sexual therapy. A drug with the active ingredient dapoxetine has been on the market since mid-2009, which was specifically approved for the treatment of premature ejaculation and is intended to delay premature ejaculation.
There are also various creams and gels that have a slightly anesthetic effect on the glans, so that the irritation and thus the excitement is reduced. Condoms also ensure that the friction during sexual intercourse is less intense for him.
However, it should be clear that medications, creams and gels do not solve the problem itself, but only alleviate the symptoms. Because sometimes “coming too early” is just a matter of your head. And you can train them:
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What can you do as a couple?
Of course, it puts a strain on your sex life and relationship if he constantly comes too quickly. Ultimately, the woman doesn't get her money's worth during sex and he is plagued by the feeling of failing in bed. But you won't get any further by pushing in frustration. Talking about it is important - but please do so without making accusations and without ruining the topic. If both of you constantly discuss his “arriving too early” – possibly “during that” – the problem will eventually become self-perpetuating.
Better: have an open ear, show understanding - and train! Because yes, you can help your partner work on their timing problem. There are various techniques that you can use during sex to practice delaying your orgasm and thus enjoying your shared excitement for longer.
1. The Squeeze Technique
With the squeeze technique, just before he threatens to come, the woman presses a point directly under the edge of the glans with her thumb, index and middle fingers. Do the whole thing as firmly as possible and for about 15 seconds. The pressure reduces his excitement again, the penis becomes slightly flaccid and the danger of premature ejaculation is averted for the time being.
This technique can be repeated several times - whenever it is necessary. Over time, both partners will find out for themselves how hard the woman should push. And of course the man can also use this technique alone while masturbating to practice.
2. The stop-and-go technique
With the stop-and-go technique, she stimulates him orally or with her hand for as long as he thinks he can still control himself. As soon as he thinks it's no longer possible, she stops her pampering program until he has himself completely under control again. Guideline: Ideally, heating up should take around five minutes, followed by a break of one minute each.
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The whole thing is repeated several times and serves as training for him. Of course, things can continue last time – as a reward for both of them. The aim of this exercise is for the man to be able to control himself better and recognize when things are getting tricky and he needs to take a step back. This is how it should work during “real” sexual intercourse, i.e. penetration. Of course, men can also practice this technique alone - but it's certainly more fun with two people.
No matter what happens, try not to lose the fun of sex. It is not a high-performance sport or a competition. And it's not a crime if you don't work.
