Abstaining from alcohol: I haven't drunk much alcohol for two years - why it makes me feel better than ever

After all the boozy festivities in December, it's in vogue to have a so-called "“ – i.e. consciously abstaining from alcohol for a month. I won't be part of this trend because: I haven't been drinking much to no alcohol for over two years. A few years ago I would have thought this development was absolutely impossible and no fun. Alcohol was an inseparable part of my life, whether partying in the club, spending hours in the bar, dating or dining in a restaurant. I liked to drink a glass more than too little and had countless hangovers in my twenties, which were sometimes funny and usually worrying.

It took a visit to the Oktoberfest in 2022 that ended in alcohol poisoning to realize, understand and permanently change my alcohol consumption (I have already written about it). Below you will find out why I am feeling better than ever after two years without alcohol and what was essential for me to be able to change my drinking behavior.

I haveI loved it and almost never said after one glass that I had had enough. It was enough for me when I was pretty drunk and felt like the most entertaining and coolest version of myself. Today, this former assumption makes me sad. I may not have been an alcoholic in the traditional sense, but I abused alcohol to regulate my emotions. To be more relaxed, for example, or supposedly to be in a better mood and to feel more confident. I know that clearly today, but I wasn't aware of it back then. For a long time I justified my alcohol consumption by saying that I had the right to have a good time and want to enjoy my life.

In truth, I often didn't enjoy my life back then. For example, when I was lying in bed with a hangover, I didn't feel as great as I had the night before, and when I walked home after partying at dawn, I felt extremely lonely more than once. However, the moment after the first drink was always the hit. When a slight intoxication became noticeable, my thoughts finally relaxed and I knew that anything was possible that evening. Often it was, I had really great party nights. And yet there was usually a point at which enough was enough. The day I should have stopped drinking, but preferred to order shots for myself and my companions. For years I also found day drinking super fun and normal, what's an Aperol here and a vino there?!

In order to really reflect on my consumption and change it sustainably, I first had to fall quite deeply. There are probably few things I have been more ashamed of than the fact that, at the age of 32, I woke up in the hospital instead of at home after attending Oktoberfest. I then started to think honestly about my drinking habits. The fact that I was honest with myself and didn't sugarcoat anything was essential to understanding why I've always drunk so much when I was out and about. At first it was difficult for me to stop drinking at all. I thought about it oftenand there were moments when I would have liked to have a drink. First, I explained to anyone who offered me a drink that I had to “disappoint” them. This still happens to me today - although it's a relief today that those around me know that I rarely drink anymore.

In the first few months after my crash, I didn't drink a drop of alcohol. After that I wasn't as strict anymore and drank something again every now and then. To this day, I only drink when I'm feeling good mentally and I don't want to use alcohol to make myself feel better. I usually drink one glass or a maximum of two and then take a break for a few weeks. It's important to me that my thoughts stay clear, I don't want to feel drunk anymore. I became very sensitive here. Also because I now know how negative a hangover is, and not just on me, but above all affects my psyche.

You can read about the benefits of an alcohol-free life just about anywhere. However, these arguments never really convinced me. I don't drink that much, at least not more than the others, I often told myself. Today I know better and have noticed how much my not drinking affects my body and mind - and how positively this in turn influences my everyday life:

After I stopped drinking, I almost demonized alcohol for a while and felt bad when I did drink a glass for once. Now I'm more relaxed about it. Simply because alcohol no longer plays a major role for me. Everything I once associated with it, I no longer associate with it. A longer period of abstinence was important in getting to this point and decoupling drinking from feelings I have long associated with it.

Today I only drink what I like and no more spirits. When I drink alcohol, I enjoy it, but it no longer changes how I feel. I finally appreciate myself these days and know that I'm enough - and no longer need a drink to prove it to me.