Are you one of those people who always take things to heart? With these tips you can avoid taking everything personally.
A conversation that begins innocently and friendly can suddenly take an unexpected turn. A few words, a thoughtless joke or a comment out of nowhere and the mood changes.
Even if it's just a small swipe, for some people this one comment can leave a deep mark. They quickly make their self-esteem dependent on the opinions of others and find it difficult to let go of the things they say.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Do you also find it difficult not to let other people's opinions get too close to you? Then we'll tell you how you can manage not to always take things so personally.
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Trick from psychology: “Consider the source”
“Consider the source” is a technique from psychology that can completely change your perspective. Translated, it means something like “Consider the source” or “Everything said needs a person to say it”.
But how can this help you take things less (quickly) personally? Basically, it's about not taking statements that hurt you at first as an attack, but rather understanding the motivation behind the statement.
Because every statement has a source, a person from whom it comes, who has their own motives, experiences and feelings. If you get to the bottom of this, it will be easier for you to see whether the statement was actually meant as an “attack” - or you simply took it the wrong way.
For example, if you hear criticism from your boss, it is most likely not meant personally. His or her motivations are related to work, not to you as an individual.
Don't take everything personally: These tips really help
“Consider the source” is about understanding our counterpart and better interpreting the supposedly hurtful statement. But there are other helpful tips to let other people's opinions bounce off you better.
Strengthen self-confidence
Does a stupid joke or an ill-advised comment immediately make you feel self-doubt? With increased self-confidence, you will find it easier to take other people's opinions personally less quickly.
You should always question negative comments and realize that no one knows you as well as you know yourself. Others can therefore form an opinion about you - but it does not have to be the truth.
In order to distinguish between constructive criticism and derogatory comments, it also helps to critically question yourself. If you know your own strengths and weaknesses, you won't be so quickly upset by the words of others.
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Address conflicts openly
If you have been hurt by a statement, feel ignored, or feel like you are being made fun of, you should address this feeling as openly as possible. After all, others cannot see inside you.
This is the only way to resolve conflicts quickly – and, above all, to eliminate misunderstandings. Try to name your own feelings and not attack the other person from a defensive position.
So try using I-messages and phrases like: “I feel ignored” or “This statement hurt me” instead of “You are mean to me”.
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Learn to distance yourself and let go
Sometimes situations are completely deadlocked and unfortunately no clarifying conversation can help. Just think of the narcissistic boss or the selfish girlfriend who never lets you speak up.
In these cases, it helps to learn acceptance and distance: Accept that there are people who will not change. Draw the conclusion from this to distance yourself. Not every friendship and every job is made and intended to last forever.
Letting go takes effort, but allows for a new beginning that is free of this burdensome negativity.
Something important to conclude: This article is intended for informational purposes only. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you have massive problems and concerns. Nobody has to go through all the difficult phases of life alone. With that in mind: All the best and take care of yourselves!
